Tag Archives: Pain

Invisible Effects of Crohn’s Disease & IBD

MAW PPP Dec 21 2012

May 22, 2013 – Please pardon the recent inconsistent entries but I have been battling a rare and unpredictable lung condition related to my Crohn’s Disease which currently limits my ability to function on “all 8s.”  In the future, I plan to invite some Guest Bloggers to share their perspectives on Managing Chronic Illness.  I am hoping things will return back to normal during the summer sometime.  Thanks for your patience.

What are “Invisible Effects” of Crohn’s & IBD?

Due to the proliferation of health care social media and the relentless efforts of various Patient Advocates, Patients and well-intending organizations like the Crohn’s & Colitis Foundation (i.e., the “CCFA”), people are now generally familiar with the physical effects of Crohn’s Disease and the associated challenges it places on its patients.  To be clear, though, some use the terms “IBD,” or Inflammatory Bowel Disease, and Crohn’s Disease interchangeably, when technically IBD is a “catch-all” term for digestive diseases which have an inflammatory component.  More accurately, Crohn’s Disease and Ulcerative Colitis primarily make up IBD but there are other IBD conditions.  That said, people without Crohn’s Disease or IBD never learn of the “Invisible Effects” these often pervasive diseases cause the patient to bear.  These Invisible Effects are not shared with family and friends because, for the most part, they are not “medical” and thus require the patient’s attention to “lifestyle issues” in an attempt to live life as normally as possible.  And let’s face it, who wants to hear about why a person or patient must have their Credit Cards on automatic bank account payment due to the unpredictability of emergency hospitalizations and disabling medical conditions?

 Why these “Invisible Effects” of Crohn’s and IBD are known by few

There is an almost intuitive and inherent fear amongst many Crohn’s Disease patients that friends and family would be “pushed away” if they understood what their day-to-day managing of these Invisible Effects actually entailed, almost as if the cumulative amount of the effects of Crohn’s Disease could reach a friendship or relationship “tipping point.”  After all, people by their nature want to be supportive but the conversation would always be one-sided if the loved one starts by asking the Crohn’s patient, “How are you doing?”  A Crohn’s or IBD patient couldn’t possibly accurately answer that question without touching upon these “Invisible Effects.”  The conversational standard for answering that question admittedly is superficial as the question has morphed more into a greeting than a genuine probe into a person’s well-being but therein lies the unique heretofore “silent” problems faced by Crohn’s and IBD patients.  Accordingly, I thought it would be enlightening for people who care about those with Crohn’s or IBD to see things from the patient perspective and in the process expose these “Invisible Effects” of Crohn’s Disease for the purposes of better understanding the unique but silent challenges Crohn’s and IBD patients bravely face.  I have listed many of them below with highlighted Sub-paragraph headings and succinctly elaborated beneath them where appropriate.

 The Mainstream does not truly understand the cause or triggers of Crohn’s Disease placing enormous & unwarranted guilt, pressure and emotional stress on patients and this lack of knowledge can cause devastating “Crohn’s Disease diagnosis journeys”. 

The poor education of the mainstream about the cause and treatment of Crohn’s and IBD forces patients to respond to questions or accusations related to changing a diet to “cure” Crohn’s and, worse, that they CAUSED IT with a poor diet or poor stress management skills.  Worse, some people, even some naive medical professionals, tell some Crohn’s patients prior to, and even after, diagnosis that the pain is “in your head” and not real.  Unfortunately, this “in your head” theory gets dispelled when the patient is rushed to the hospital emergency room for surgery to repair narrow bowels or twisted intestines.

For me, this happened in my early 20s and I could sense that the various doctors’ skepticism crept into the thinking of my family because, after all, nothing medical seemed to explain my extreme fatigue, abdominal pain, severe joint pain and inability to heal from common wisdom teeth dental surgery.  I even indulged my physicians’ recommendation to begin seeing a local psychologist because I wanted to find an answer to my medical problem and I knew I had to first exhaust every one of their ridiculous non-medical theories.  From my perspective, what was happening to me and my body was so palpable that I knew there had to be an underlying medical explanation.  But I knew I wouldn’t be taken seriously until I soothed the egos of the doctors treating me and eliminated each of their theories, one-by-one.

The first consensus amongst the “medical” physicians was for me to see a local psychologist to address my apparent need for attention by complaining about so many physical problems.  It’s hard for me some 30 years later to now convey how angry I was at the medical establishment for not “believing me” but I remember taking solace in my body being the best measurement of my medical condition and that it was only a matter of time for it to talk loud enough for the doctors to hear.  I lived this lie for several months after consulting with more and more doctors in and around New York City who also thought I was a hypochondriac since all superficial diagnostic tests were negative.

Mind you, my sessions with the local psychologist were a complete waste of time as he spent more time taking about my mother and father than he did on why I was feeling the way I did.  One day, however, I ate flavored popcorn at an office function of a job in New York City I had just started.  Shortly after my body started digesting the popcorn I experienced such severe pain that I ventured into the bathroom and locked the door.  To this day, I have no idea why I chose the bathroom for refuge but I imagine the stomach pain was so severe that I anticipated painful digestive repercussions.  The next thing I remember was waking up in an ambulance on my way to the local hospital.  The pain was so severe that it trumped the office embarrassment of getting so sick and needing help from people I barely knew and to this day I’m not sure if I ever went back to that office or thanked those kind people who looked out for my safety.  If for some odd reason I neglected to thank them, I hope they are reading this for that experience changed my life.

A few days later the attending gastroenterologist (GI) came into my room and showed me the results of some diagnostic tests which revealed I had something called “Crohn’s Disease.”  I had never heard of it so he handed me some informative brochures published by the CCFA.  As I read the brochures, each paragraph empowered me more and more as it described EXACTLY what I had been experiencing the past few months including the abdominal pain, extreme lethargy, joint pain and inability to heal properly from a common medical/dental procedure such as the extraction of all four (4) wisdom teeth.  As if on cue from a movie as I was contemplating my future with this new sidekick, a few minutes later the phone rang in my hospital room and it was the local psychologist I had been seeing.  He apparently obtained the phone number from my Mom when I failed to show up for two (2) consecutively weekly appointments (I was hospitalized for almost three [3] weeks).  He first appropriately inquired as to the status of my health and conveyed his well wishes for a speedy recovery but then he uttered the following words which changed my life: “Michael, do you see what you did to yourself now?

I hung up on the local psychologist, actually I slammed the phone down while the psychologist was still speaking, and in doing so acquired the beginning of the confidence I would need to cope with my Crohn’s Disease as it got more severe in my 30s and 40s (I obviously still had much to learn about the composure part).  My family’s confidence in my coping abilities followed soon thereafter.  They had temporarily “abandoned” my logic in “listening to my body” although they never gave up on “supporting me” except they chose to follow what the doctors were saying instead of my body’s reaction to the situation.  I couldn’t blame them as they couldn’t “feel” what I was feeling and they were heeding the advice of experienced medical professionals.   Besides, they never stopped loving me so what beef could I possibly have with them?  None.

This was my “Crohn’s diagnosis journey” and thankfully it was relatively short in time duration but it took me through some VERY depressed periods where I knew even my family and friends doubted me.  I was also acutely aware that if I was wrong in trusting my body I was likely going to be labeled a hypochondriac and attention-seeker for the rest of my life and risk never being taken seriously again.  Well, MANY Crohn’s patients experience much longer “diagnosis journeys” and their self-confidence is tested even more than mine was.  This “Crohn’s diagnosis journey” is a situation which still exists due to the mainstream’s poor understanding of Crohn’s and IBD.   For many people, particularly those who reside in rural areas where doctors see a minimal number of Crohn’s cases and thus are not as sharp in spotting it especially when it is a complex Crohn’s case seemingly masked as some other more obvious disease, obtaining a correct diagnosis of Crohn’s or IBD can be a tortuous, time-consuming, expensive and emotionally devastating process.

But you look so good?

Crohn’s itself has been described as an “Invisible Illness” because the patient’s superficial appearance can have nothing to do with his or her internal intestinal health.  I’ve tried to train friends and family that how I look often has nothing to do with how I feel but human nature being what it is; people tend to believe what they SEE and not what they HEAR.  I have lost friendships over this issue after I’ve socialized with them on a Friday night only to have to cancel on their child’s Bar-Mitzvah on a Sunday due to an unexpected disabling Crohn’s flare-up.   People sometimes don’t trust that which they can’t understand and if many doctors don’t truly understand Crohn’s, I’ve come to understand that this can happen even with friends and family.  That said, over time I have developed a circle of close friends who understand when I don’t or can’t attend something.   Strangely, this Invisible Effect of Crohn’s has weeded out superficial and narcissistic friends and has become somewhat like “x-ray vision” into providing me with perspective into the quality of people I encounter.  Still, this has affected some former very close friendships of mine simply because Crohn’s can be an “Invisible Illness” and sometimes I wish there was an objective way to communicate sincerity.  I maintain this same position with respect to an objective scale for levels of Pain such that a doctor could understand my Pain and treat me accordingly.

Lack of Consistency in Personal and Professional Lives.  

A main characteristic about Crohn’s Disease is that it is “consistently inconsistent” and that makes planning ANYTHING a risky proposition. In business, this can ruin relationships especially in an economy where patience is no longer an option.  In personal relationships, the need to cancel on cheerful events too many times could force the Crohn’s patient to the back of the address invite book until they finally are no longer called to participate in such events as the former friend simply assumes their “Yes” or “No” can’t be counted upon.  As mentioned above, however, as I matured Crohn’s Disease eventually gave me laser-like perspective about who was and wasn’t a true friend for frequently cancelling on attending birthday parties and weddings should not equal a friendship-ending foul.

Doctors always having a “crutch” when a seemingly unrelated medical problem isn’t easily diagnosed. 

Once a doctor knows you have Crohn’s Disease, it has been my experience that they can stop searching for answers to certain medical problems which are difficult to diagnose.  They blame Crohn’s Disease when with other patients they might probe further.  This is medically dangerous and disrespectful to a Crohn’s Disease patient.  After all, if a man in a wheelchair came in to see a doctor complaining of kidney stone-type pain, I would hope that doctor wouldn’t blame the immobility of being in a wheelchair.  In the case of a Crohn’s patient, a very common referral for any ailment is to a Rheumatologist due to the predominant Crohn’s characteristic being the patient’s autoimmune issues and compromised immune system.  Oftentimes, however, Crohn’s patients know their bodies better than new doctors do and if a patient thinks he or she has a kidney stone and has a history of such, I would hope the doctor would refer the patient to a urologist instead of a rheumatologist but a Crohn’s patient may have to advocate in a vigilant manner for that to happen.  In summary, the Crohn’s or IBD patient must also be his or her own Patient Advocate when seeing medical professionals about new ailments because too often is the case when they are referred to a rheumatologist due to their compromised immune system.

Getting treated by non-GI doctors and having to explain why you might need stronger or longer antibiotics due to your weak immune system. 

Some new doctors or physicians you are not familiar with don’t want to believe the unique medical effects of your Crohn’s Disease which you are all too familiar with having lived with the disease for many years.  So when you suggest a stronger antibiotic or longer course of antibiotic based on your prior experience, they often refuse to give Crohn’s its due deference.  This is like a doctor prescribing additional aerobic exercise to a patient who has a history of asthma and ignoring the patent’s input about his or her inability to do any more exercise as a result of its effects on his or her ability to breathe.  In the asthma case, doctors listen so why are the unique medical effects of Crohn’s Disease often overlooked by doctors?

Side Effects from Biologics.

Over the past few years, researchers have identified a common vulnerability in Crohn’s Disease patients which causes their immune system to attack THEMSELVES when they should be attacking the outside abnormality such as Allergies, the Flu, etc.  This created a form of potent drugs which, when successful, often puts Crohn’s Disease into Remission for relatively long periods of time. These drugs are Remicade, Humira, Cimzia and Tysabri.  While these drugs do help MANY patients, they also can cause serious and frequent side effects in patients such as Cancer, lethal Fungal Lung Infections and other serious to severe Respiratory Conditions.  Not everyone who takes these drugs is vulnerable to these side effects, but one can reasonably opine that it seems the FDA underestimated the severity and frequency of these side effects when they approved these drugs for usage in treating Crohn’s Disease.

As a result, the FDA has subsequently issued “Black Box Warnings” on these drugs, primarily on Humira and Cimzia, which require the manufacturers to CLEARLY list on the drug’s packaging that the drug has, and can, cause such lethal side effects. In full disclosure, I am a patient who is suffering from a severe lung infection which the Pathology Department at the Mayo Clinic has been unable to define and which in the past has required me to undergo chemotherapy to save my life.  I can’t “prove” this strange and possible lethal lung infection came from Humira or Cimzia (both of which I took for my Crohn’s) BUT when one of the world’s most prominent health institutions writes in a Pathology Report after a surgical lung biopsy that they can’t specifically identify the source or name of the obvious harmful lung problem, it is a logical leap to assume this had to be caused by the Biologics since nothing else in my life has changed.

The FDA felt the increasing need to convey the importance of these Black Box Warnings and took to YouTube in an attempt to reach the most Crohn’s patients since many were being passively influenced by the TV Commercials for the drug Humira which in the first 15 seconds of its TV commercial VISUALLY highlights the potential lifestyle changing effects of taking the drug but in the remaining 15 or 30 seconds uses a “mechanical” and monotonous VOICE-OVER technique to convey the legally required SIDE EFFECTS.  Accordingly, the Humira TV commercial is approximately 1/3 advertisement and 2/3 Legal Disclaimer.

But trying to take an objective perspective, I fear the incurability of Crohn’s Disease combined with the FACT that these Biologics do help MANY people created an environment whereby the FDA approved the drugs probably prematurely because they figured if it helps many people “get back their life” even at the expense of several others experiencing disabling side effects, it was a worthwhile trade-off.  However, the FDA’s subsequent increased vigilance in informing the public about the seriousness and frequency of these side effects seems to indicate that increased Patient Data and History is possibly making the FDA rethink their original position I’ve articulated above.  Contrarily, over recent years the FDA has been successfully lobbied by the manufacturers of Humira, namely Abbott Industries, to expand the application of Humira to Pediatric Crohn’s Disease (in Europe) and to Ulcerative Colitis in the US.  It is a convoluted situation which helps many Crohn’s patients and disables some or many others.

While Biologics seem to be the last line of defense for many Crohn’s patients, I pray it works for them.  However, there are other researchers pursuing different underlying pathologies which would result in drugs which might make Biologics extinct.  Only time will tell. Alternatively, it is also possible that the manufacturers of Biologics will “refine” their drugs to mitigate the aforementioned severity and frequency of their side effects.  The takeaway from this sub-paragraph is that even the lifestyle-saving or remission-inducing Crohn’s and IBD Biologic treatment drugs come at a controversial cost which is still not entirely understood.  That said, if I were a patient with no options but Humira, having exhausted all other treatment options, I would want to be enthusiastic and positive about the drug’s chances to help me.  But if this type of Crohn’s patient were being fair, he or she couldn’t honestly take such a position although they MUST.  I wish that weren’t the case but that is what Crohn’s and IBD patients must deal with and I think the public and mainstream is unaware of how brave these types of Crohn’s and IBD patients must be.

Automatized Credit Card payment schedule.

Years ago when I was in and out of hospitals with the same frequency and unpredictability as Lady Gaga’s wardrobe changes, I was always late on paying my credit cards and had to pay a $25.00 late fee after being late more than 2 or 3 times on paying any one credit card.  Having Credit was and is vital to my survival since I always need a credit card to host medical debt which surpasses my liquidity.  To preserve that Credit, I was forced to set up automatic payment mechanisms tied to a bank account.  This way all I had to do was make sure the bank account had a high enough balance at the end of the month.  This solved the credit card Late Fee problem but it limits my financial planning and liquidity.  Perhaps not a big deal to people with an overflow of money but just another thing a Crohn’s and IBD patient must attend to or risk losing the Credit he or she needs to pay for the expensive medical treatment he or she will undoubtedly require in the future.

Your Degree of Pain is always challenged and having a Pain Management Doctor can unfairly label you a drug addict or drug seeker.  

Since Crohn’s Disease has such a broad-spectrum “Severity Scale,” many medical professionals assume you are on the low end as there is no way to objectively determine how bad you are suffering and they want to protect themselves from patients with addiction problems looking to use their diagnosis of Crohn’s or IBD as a license to get narcotics every month.  Responsible pain management doctors also only want to dispense the least amount of narcotics as is necessary.  Additionally, narcotics and opioids, while helpful as painkillers, also take a serious toll on the digestive system as they slow the body’s natural process of “Peristalsis” which moves chewed items down the digestive track.  This interruption in the digestive track can complicate Crohn’s and IBD and for that reason Gastroenterologists (GIs) don’t like prescribing them.  But they are the most effective painkillers, especially when Crohn’s and IBD patients can’t take anti-inflammatory over-the-counter painkillers because they are even more abrasive on the digestive track, and without them patients with Severe Crohn’s pain would suffer in a way tantamount to cruel and unusual punishment.

Still, this reality often causes some Gastroenterologists to refuse to prescribe opioid painkillers and/or to even inform the Crohn’s patient that there exists a specialty of doctors who practice “Pain Management” responsibly. I have been outspoken on this issue because once I learned of the Pain Management specialty and found a trusted and respected Pain Management Doctor, I chose to become somewhat “dependent” on painkillers so that my Crohn’s wouldn’t keep me on the couch while my friends or family were busy making life memories on celebratory occasions.

While under the care of a duly licensed and responsible Pain Management Doctor, I have also learned of the difference between “dependence” and “addiction.”  Many Crohn’s patients become “dependent” on narcotics or opioids to maintain some semblance of a quality of life or normal lifestyle.  I chose that path for many years and I relied upon my medical professional to identify if I ever wavered into the area of “addiction” as it can be a slippery slope.  However, that is exactly why I chose to be monitored by a Pain Management physician.  I was able to do this because I was always 100% candid with my Pain Management doctor.  With such an option available for Crohn’s patients, I am ASTONISHED at the number of emails and communications I receive from Crohn’s patients around the world who tell me that their GI doctors will not address their pain, so what should they do?  My heart aches for these Crohn’s and IBD patients.

To choose Pain Management to maintain some degree of quality of life despite Severe Crohn’s Disease, the patient must sign a Contract with the doctor that requires the patient to see the doctor once a month, use the same pharmacy to obtain narcotics and to obtain narcotics only from that doctor.  It is a small price to pay for a reasonable quality of life despite severe pain.  But having to see a doctor once a month, every month, of every year, is expensive and somewhat draining on that quality of life.  I guess my business school professor was correct: “There is no free lunch in life.”

Additionally, once you become dependent on a pain management doctor, it makes relocation difficult because chronic pain patients are now looked upon with skepticism and new pain management doctors are not exactly eager to take in Crohn’s Disease patients unless they can establish their past experience with the pain management specialty through voluminous Patient Notes from their previous doctors.  Changing pain management doctors can also be required when the patient or his or her company changes health insurance companies which these days is a common annual occurrence due to pricing of health insurance plans.  Then trying to locate a new pain management doctor can become almost like a full-time job as the patient must often go through MANY “interviews” with different doctors to ensure there is a “match” between patient and doctor in terms of understanding needs, lifestyle and personalities.

In summary, Pain Management is a wonderful option for Crohn’s patients with chronic severe pain but it comes at a price which is not just financial and the patient is often stigmatized by pharmacies and hospitals as a drug addict or drug seeker when all they are doing is seeking treatment for a legitimate medical problem which in this case happens to be chronic pain.  This drug addict or drug seeker stigma attached to simply seeking relief from chronic severe pain caused by Crohn’s or IBD, can have professional, social and emotional effects upon the Crohn’s or IBD patient.  This doesn’t seem to happen to patients with diseases more typically associated with pain like Cancer but Crohn’s and IBD can be as painful as ANY disease.  Another burden to bear for the Crohn’s and IBD patient which is not often discussed.

Relationships and intimacy becomes much more difficult.

When do you bring it up?  How do you bring it up?  Should you bear children in case you are worried about “passing it on”?  Also, the financial burden that comes with MANY years of Severe Crohn’s Disease can also affect one’s “attractiveness” as it is completely fair to assume many people do not want to enter into a relationship and assume a tremendous amount of medical debt which will only increase over time.  Some might snicker at this point but life is not a love story and reality pokes its head in every now and then.  Applying that to my life, I know that several women I have dated have terminated our relationship because of this issue (even though in some instances other reasons were given at the time) and many more have unbelievably controlled themselves from my formidable charm and avoided beginning intimate relationships with me so they would not have to ultimately make that choice. :)

I JOKE about my charm and whatnot but I always had girlfriends and it wasn’t until my Crohn’s began to disable me more and more that I began to notice women taking a longer term look at our possible situation and deciding to walk away.  I NEVER got angry about it because if I were their parent I would want them to be HAPPY and whether we want to admit it or not, it is a “green world,” as my Dad often said, and without money or being in always-growing medical debt, happiness would undoubtedly be even more difficult to attain as 50% of all marriages fail as is.

A few years ago when I became disabled due to my Crohn’s, I also felt guilty about bringing a woman into a life filled with chronic sickness and ever-expanding medical debt and when evaluating the prospects of a long-term intimate relationship such as marriage, a woman has the right to know this type of information.  This is why I have dedicated my life to being a Crohn’s Disease Advocate.  I am still hopeful to meet the right woman but I realize that due to my disabling disease I might have to settle for a dog – but even owning a dog comes with financial and physical responsibilities so I’m not even sure I can do that – at least at this point in my life.  I joke but it is true.  That said, I LOVE dogs and realistically that is my goal at some point soon. :)

Chronic Temporary Disability from Work could make it difficult to keep a job. 

Not every Crohn’s patient gets disabled, but even after a bowel resection surgery, they may be on State Temporary Disability from their job.  This is something all workers are entitled to in their State but the chronic nature of Crohn’s could make this a fairly frequent event.  Before you know it, others at the company may start to look at YOU as the reason why the cost of their healthcare insurance keeps rising.  Despite provisions for protections against discrimination in the Affordable Care Act and in the American’s with Disabilities Act, companies have ways to “discriminate” without formally running afoul of these anti-discrimination or pre-existing illness laws.  This is just a reality which Crohn’s patients must be aware of as they navigate the otherwise challenging climb up the corporate ladder.

New helpful medications might be deemed “experimental” and not covered by insurance. 

If these new helpful medications are “reimbursed” by health insurance, the health insurance reimbursement may be very small.  More common is the situation when a few drugs are used, or will be used, in semi-successfully treating Crohn’s but for “off-label” purposes.  Such “off-label” usage (i.e., using a drug to treat conditions other than it was approved for by the FDA to treat) may also make health insurance reimbursement difficult.  This occurs, for example, when doctors realize that a certain drug approved by the FDA to lower cholesterol in the blood (such as the drug, “Colestid”) can be successfully used to “bind bile salts” in Crohn’s patients who have lost their Terminal Ileum.

This Colestid example happened to me several years ago when I lost my Terminal Ileum in a surgery and as a result was unable to digest “fats” and “bind bile salts.”  The practical result was that I was in the bathroom 30-40 times a day with relentless diarrhea until my genius New York City Crohn’s Doctor told me to “TRY” 4-5 Colestid tablets a day.  Remarkably, the diarrhea STOPPED and I was able to resume my lifestyle outside of the bathroom but not before having to appeal my health insurance company’s decision to decline reimbursing me for the cost of the Colestid because I was taking it for “off-label” purposes.  I had to appeal FIVE (5) separate times until the insurance company relented but this happens almost every time a Crohn’s patient has similar success with an “off-label”  drug.  You’d think the health insurance company would be supportive from a “Wellness” perspective but as my Dad used to say, “it’s a green world.”  This is an ongoing problem which Crohn’s and IBD patients will face as researchers and doctors continually search for better treatments with fewer side effects and ultimately, and hopefully, a cure.

Accumulated medical costs of a chronic Crohn’s Disease patient may cause financial problems which warrant bankruptcy-level solutions yet there is no state or federal bankruptcy protection “classification” for patients with chronic diseases they contracted due to them being passed down genetically through their family (as opposed to Lung Cancer they might have contracted from 30 years of smoking).

Constant extreme lethargy may be interpreted by family and friends as you being a “slacker” –

when it is simply your Crohn’s affecting you after being triggered by the environment, eating a certain food, allergies or just “because.” I feel guilty when all I can do on a given day is lie on the couch and flip through the TV channels but that’s how it is for Severe Crohn’s and IBD patients on many days – in-between bathroom trips.  When this happens frequently, some people may think you enjoy being a slacker but they have no idea of the frustration Crohn’s patients have deep down inside of not being able to regularly contribute to society.  Friends and family may start to wonder because the stark comparison between you healthy as opposed to you sick is frustrating to them.  Since you often can’t predict when these helpless days will occur, friends and family can become equally frustrated.  This then becomes a heavy burden to bear for the Crohn’s patient because we know our loved ones have the best of intentions but they begin to get frustrated by our disease as much as we do except they don’t “feel” the overwhelming tide of lethargy and therefore they apply logic to try and understand Crohn’s and that simply won’t work as science has not yet figured it out.   As Musician and Master Story-Teller Tom Petty wrote and sang in his song “Refugee:” “It’s just one of those things you gotta to feel to be true.”    

Family and Friends may not visit in the Hospital because they assume you’ve been hospitalized so much that “he can handle it” –

yet we all get lonely in the hospital and doing time in a hospital never gets easier.  As I get older I come across this more and more.  I never judge who comes or doesn’t come to visit me in the hospital other than evaluating my own needs for company and a diversion from the loneliness and pain.  That said, I am always appreciative of whoever comes to see me or call me when I am hospitalized.  But I do get upset at the thought people assume I can “handle it” because I have been hospitalized over 200 times.  Being a hospital patient is NEVER easy regardless of great nurses and compassionate physicians.  If these people only knew that being a patient in a hospital is closer to being a prisoner in a jail than to anything else then maybe they would appreciate the isolation, loneliness and fear one feels when they are lying in a hospital bed in pain with tubes coming out of every orifice.  I don’t wish it on anyone but I don’t know how else to convey to family members that just hearing the VOICE of a loved one is comforting inside a hospital even if you have a tube down your throat and can’t talk.

The side effects of the typical successful Crohn’s medications like Prednisone can be so serious –

they can affect your social and professional lives (i.e., moonfaced) and cause serious medical problems later on in life such as Hip Replacement. Additionally, immuno-suppressant drugs such as Imuran and 6-mercaptopurine (6MP) can have LETHAL long-term effects causing Cancer and Liver disease. Crohn’s patients must live with the harsh reality that in many instances the most successful treatment can cause external and internal medical problems which are as bad as or worse than Crohn’s itself.  If this doesn’t convey the almost barbaric scientific manner in which Crohn’s and IBD are treated, I don’t know what else will convey this “treatment can be worse than the disease” risk which all Crohn’s and IBD patients must assume.  This is not a criticism of the medical profession or medical professional; it is just an observation about the slow scientific process being made in treating and curing Crohn’s and IBD.

Obtaining Social Security Disability can be more difficult because the potential seriousness of Crohn’s Disease is not well-understood by the Mainstream. 

Accordingly, if you can’t work because of being disabled by Crohn’s, you sometimes have to wait 3-5 YEARS to finally prevail in Court after having to hire an attorney and giving up a large percentage to him or her for the cost of their helpful legal services.  This varies from State-to-State but I hear too many stories of people with Severe Crohn’s or IBD being denied and denied despite having voluminous medical proof almost as if the Social Security office thinks the Crohn’s patient will give up after a while.  I have also heard of stories where patients with Crohn’s are awarded Social Security Disability Benefits only to have them taken away when their case is reviewed in a few years which then re-starts the nightmarish cycle of re-application for Social Security Disability Benefits.

If you do become Disabled or Limited in your work capacity, certain family members may look at you as never having reached your potential and a strange family dynamic may be created despite them having had just as much of a genetic chance of having contracted Crohn’s as you did.   

This is the familial effect of Crohn’s and IBD because through no fault of your own and “but for the Grace of God there go I,” it could have happened to any one of your siblings – you just drew the unlucky genetic card.  This unfair familial judgment doesn’t happen within every family with a Severe Crohn’s or IBD patient.  It also can manifest itself differently with each family but it definitely happens and it is due most likely to human nature and to the Severe Crohn’s or IBD patient “looking fine” but being disabled.  This “judgment” can permeate what should be celebratory family functions such as Anniversaries, Christmas, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, etc. but instead the Crohn’s patient comes to despise family functions because they feel they are being judged by people who could have just as easily been in their position.  This explains why many Crohn’s patients get depressed during holiday season.  Perhaps some of the intensity of the familiar effect is in the minds of Crohn’s patients but due to the genetic nature of having contracted Crohn’s there is logic behind a certain kind of weirdness taking place when getting together with siblings who could have just as easily been the family member who contracted the Severe case of Crohn’s.

Your values in life change as “Happiness” is now defined by the ability to SMILE and be PAIN-FREE as opposed to using that Tax Refund to go on a 10-day trip to Europe.

Traveling with Crohn’s Disease can be laborious and frightening.

While traveling, your worst nightmare can come true if you have a flare-up in a rural area where medical professionals don’t see many Crohn’s Disease cases.  Nevertheless, you must prepare for such an event and that makes packing for travel rather arduous. With the best of intentions these foreign medical professionals could treat you in a textbook manner (e.g., Prednisone or straight to Biologics) when what you might need is less intense medications or simple Intravenous Fluids for a few days or other medications which you take at home but which might not be so well-known in those parts of the world or they might not be so well known in terms of their application to treating Crohn’s disease. Suffice it to say, the guy who chases “River Monsters” on the “Animal Planet” Cable-TV channel, namely, Jeremy Wade, does not have Crohn’s Disease!

Hiring a Mental Health Professional is challenging. 

It is hard to find one who can relate to the unique challenges of the chronic Severe Crohn’s patient and it is difficult to afford paying them when you can’t work and earn money.  Otherwise, support to cope with all of the above is thankfully a bit easier now more than ever before due to health care social media which people use to connect with each other to “relate” to one another about symptoms and treatments.  Crohn’s patients, or “Crohnies,” as they are often referred to on-line, also join Virtual Patient Communities and participate in helpful TweetChats.  Still, there are so many Invisible and Visible “issues” for the Crohn’s or IBD patient to discuss with the Mental Health Professional, where does one start?

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Hospital Emergency Room – “Love em’ & Leave em”” – The Patient Consumer

2013-03-26 19.12.03

What Exit in New Jersey are you from?

This is a picture of MY “ROOM” IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM (”ER”), taken by me on Tuesday, March 26, 2013, at a New Jersey Hospital’s Emergency Room (“ER”).  That hospital’s security personnel demanded I delete this picture from my phone under the guise that the hospital has a policy of no pictures being taken in the hospital.  While I am certainly sympathetic to such policies, the reasoning behind such polices is to protect the privacy of anyone getting treated inside the hospital.  In that regard, I would NEVER take a picture of a patient or of any person; but as a Consumer I felt it appropriate to capture the essence of how I was mistreated in this emergency room and this image of my “room” seemed to safely capture that mistreatment.  I was not deleting the picture.  I also was sensitive to the security guard’s concerns about me somehow “identifying” the hospital and thus possibly picturing it in a false light.  To that end I agreed with him and that’s why this picture is simply of an EXIT SIGN and I defy anyone reading this to possibly associate this EXIT SIGN picture with the hospital ER in which I took it in – i.e., based strictly on the picture.  This was reason number 2 I was not deleting the picture.

I had several other similar “generic” and unidentifiable hospital/ER pictures on my phone which also captured how I felt I was mistreated but because the security guard was so kind, logical and reasonable, I deleted all of them except the ones above and below because I was not, and am not, looking to castigate this particular hospital or its personnel since I envisioned this particular emergency room nightmare experience as merely symptomatic of a system overtaxed by many Uninsured Patients who look to their local emergency room as a source of Primary Care.  That said, emergency rooms in the United States are designed to render triage medicine but the ER “triage medicine model” is on steroids out of bare necessity to keep up with the demands of serving its respective local community.  If the New York Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez is any example of what happens to steroid users over the long run, it is no wonder why our ERs are consistently providing unsatisfactory “consumer” results.  Still, in Forty (40) years of going to hospitals and emergency rooms, this was BY FAR my worst experience in over 200 hospitalizations and ER trips.

 Cropped IV Pic March 31 2013

This second picture depicts my status when, after 6 hours or so, I was escorted out of the ER, and was forced to remove my own Intravenous Line (“IV”) causing my blood to squirt so high it almost hit the ceiling,  Ergo, this picture, which was actually taken 2 days later to show the bruising of my obviously poor medical technique.  Combining the two (2) pictures to create a collage of sorts; there was no door, no curtains, no privacy; no HIPAA compliance since I was barely being treated; just a gurney, under an Exit Sign, in a hallway in the ER, where I was essentially IGNORED for 5-7 hours.  My medical problems and responding treatment had dehumanized me to the point where some might say I was now just a lyric in a great Bruce Springsteen song like “Jungleland” where its characters agreed, “they’ll meet ‘neath that giant Exxon [i.e., Exit ] sign, that brings this fair city light.”  If that doesn’t typify the stereotype about New Jersey, …  Still, my experience at this particular ER, at this specific hospital in New Jersey, on this particular night and for my rather complex condition, is not at all representative of other fine medical institutions in New Jersey or even of this particular hospital’s ER since it’s not fair to judge the quality of an ER based on one person’s experience on one given night due to the variety of subjective parameters.  Now that the Disclaimer is out of the way, …

The Patient Consumer in a Hospital Emergency Room

Now that I’ve set the stage for this ER debacle and in my previous Part 1 of 2 Blog Post detailed how serious my last bout with the Lung Condition BOOP was to provide some context for said debacle, please note this Part 2 of 2  details the “consumer” side of things which prompted me to call my credit card company to cancel the $100.00 ER fee I had to pay pursuant to my Health Insurance Plan.  More specifically, just as I might revoke a credit card charge to a shady automotive repair shop which I thought had ripped me off, I did the same with this $100.00 Emergency Room charge as I believed the services rendered to me were almost non-existent and I thought it was unreasonable to pay for being either mistreated or treated like an animal.  I don’t blame any one person in that ER but my experience made me re-think how I must use a hospital ER moving forward.  I hope you come to the same conclusion after reading my story.

“Alice’s Restaurant Massacre” by singer-songwriter, Arlo Guthrie

Yes, this has been a rather long Post but I beg you to hang in there with me because you need to understand the complexities of the past when you try to find an answer to a difficult medical problem once resolved but nevertheless presented again.  I chose the “Alice’s Restaurant” subtitle above because writing this Post reminds me of listening to that song every Thanksgiving.  It goes on and on yet I always find the storytelling compelling.  I hope I’ve carried on that tradition.

Passed out on a Treadmill

So, approximately 6 weeks ago, I passed out on a Treadmill while walking VERY slowly and figured I was getting sick.  Each day I woke up I seemed to have absolutely NO ENERGY and it felt like each leg weighed 1,000 pounds.  That’s happened frequently throughout my life because of my Crohn’s Disease but this episode seemed particularly disabling.  Soon thereafter I developed a cough, saw my Internist, took cough medicine and basically was being treated for Bronchitis/Pneumonia.  I didn’t even relate it to a possible recurrence of the Bronchiolitis Obliterans with Organizing Pneumonia (“BOOP”) because I did not have Shortness of Breath, YET.  Once I developed a difficulty breathing and talking at the same time, it was as if my body was following the same exact pattern when I had BOOP in 2011 (see Part 1 of this Blog Post).  This time, however, the lovely NYC pulmonologist no longer practiced in NYC and due to being disabled and financially broke; I needed to find a NJ pulmonologist in my Health Insurance Plan who was qualified to take on my very complicated case.  Thankfully, a close friend recommended a female NJ pulmonologist who happened to be in my health insurance plan so I made an appointment.

The New NJ Pulmonologist

While pursing the pulmonary aspects of my present situation, I kept my NYC Crohn’s doctor in the loop and promised to see him after I secured the most appropriate NJ pulmonologist and had obtained all the test results needed to devise a collaborative treatment plan.  I didn’t want to believe I had BOOP again but my breathing quickly began to feel like I was sucking air out of a toothpick-sized straw and I had difficulty breathing and talking at the same time.  I went to the 1st appointment with the NJ pulmonologist with an open mind and a positive attitude and I’m glad I did because she was GREAT.  She knew all about BOOP and its potential relationship to Crohn’s Disease and other autoimmune diseases in addition to its possible connection to these “Anti-TNF Agent” drugs such as Remicade, Humira and Cimzia.   More importantly, she LISTENED for quite a while as I felt the need to impress upon her how complex my 2011 BOOP case was but how towards the end of that journey there was a Pathology Report from Mt. Sinai Hospital which cast some doubt as to whether I actually had BOOP even though the Prednisone clearly failed and the chemotherapy drug, Cytoxan, clearly worked.  She took notes and then handed me a list of the Medical Records and copies of the 2011 Diagnostic Tests and Reports she needed for comparison purposes for all new 2013 tests.  THAT is how to practice medicine.

Because I felt I was getting worse VERY QUICKLY and my physical symptoms echoed that sentiment, the NJ pulmonologist quickly ordered all the correct diagnostic tests and insisted that I at least try the 60 mgs of Prednisone until she got more data in and observed my response to the Prednisone.  I trusted her so that’s what I did.  That afternoon I somehow garnered up the strength to get her all the pertinent test results and records she had requested and a day or two later I had the definitive 2013 CT scan.  It is VERY IMPORTANT for Patients to keep such good and accessible records because when you have a complex medical condition the quality and speed of your care will ultimately depend upon how quickly and comprehensively you are able to provide these records to your current doctor.  This includes copies of Film studies, Reports, Operative Notes, Pathology Reports, Blood Work and Physician Notes.  My new doctor, like any thorough physician, wanted to be able to compare my 2013 CT Scan with the worst Scan I had in 2011 to provide her with the proper context and I was able to accommodate her in an efficient manner.  Chronic patients don’t like being sick but that’s inherent in the “job description,” but I have found that one of the most effective ways to ensure longer periods of good health (i.e., the best we can hope for) is being an Assertive and Engaged Patient.  In this context, that meant facilitating my doctor’s polite requests for DATA.   The doctor called me with the results of the CT scan and it clearly showed I had BOOP again but compared to the CT scan I had in 2011 just before the lung biopsy surgery, it did not look nearly as bad.  However, my symptoms were at least as bad or possibly headed to worse.  Unfortunately, BOOP is microscopic so there was no telling if I was at the very beginning of this BOOP episode or if it was as bad as it was going to be.  Regardless, it was time to batten down the hatches.

BOOP Take 2 – Treatment Plan 2013

The plan was to take the 60 mgs of Prednisone for 2 weeks until I saw my doctor for a Follow-up visit.  In the interim, I made appointments to see my NYC Crohn’s doctor and on the same day I had a long-ago scheduled follow-up with my NYC Pain Management doctor.  I have been on and off of narcotic pain medications so many times over the past 30 years that I most recently decided to try and go on a “Painkiller Vacation” despite always being in significant pain because I wanted to see how it would affect my life.  It took a while to wean down but “we” did it (i.e., my doctor and I) and I was narcotic-free for a few months.  The problem was that I was much more disabled as a result because the pain I got from the multitude of medical issues I have can be unpredictable and so intense that sleeping is the only way to get through them, i.e., without medication.

The Pain Management Plan

Up until a few months ago, I had always decided that I would take whatever drug I needed so long as it was prescribed by a duly licensed and responsible physician in order to minimize the disabling effects Crohn’s Disease would have on my life.  My attitude recently changed on that ever since I started being recognized as a leading Patient Advocate and asked to speak at different Healthcare Conferences around the world.  I also just launched a Peer-to-Peer “Patient Visitor Ambassador” program so that Veteran or “Warrior” Crohn’s, Colitis and Inflammatory Bowel Disease (“IBD) patients could be matched up geographically with “Patients-in-Need” so they could provide them with some “TLC” which is much needed with these tricky and often pervasive autoimmune diseases like Crohn’s.  It is called the “Crohn’s Disease Warrior Patrol.” I also got sick and tired of fighting with my health insurance company about how many pain pills I can get in a month and how many “Prior Authorizations” I needed to move forward with my life.  The insurance paperwork involved with trying to live and be productive with chronic pain became a full-time job and all that did was reinforce my underlying pain and physical limitations.  I simply wanted to try something different all the while knowing that it may not be possible for me to painkiller free.  But I’d only know if I tried.

That said, this episode of BOOP was getting worse and the very thorough NJ pulmonologist told me to carefully monitor my situation and if it got worse before our next appointment on April 2nd, I should go to the Emergency Room (“ER”) at her hospital.  Unfortunately, the Prednisone again didn’t appear to be working as planned and not only did my breathing get worse but last weekend I started to get that dagger-like pain in my lungs.  The front of my chest felt like a Piano was resting on it while my back felt like it was being stabbed whenever I tried to “pull” on a deep breath or sometimes for no reason at all.  Still, I was determined to stay out of the ER and make it to our follow-up appointment on Tuesday, April 2nd to reassess my options.  I just had to get through these doctor appointments in NYC on Tuesday, March 26th but the pain was getting worse and worse and I began to question how safe it was for me to even get in the car and drive.  However, it is VERY difficult to obtain timely appointments with these two (2) leading NYC doctors so I couldn’t reschedule them given the potential severity of my BOOP situation.

Tuesday – NYC then the New Jersey “ER”

The day started with me being the 1st appointment with my NYC Crohn’s doctor and he explained that the NJ pulmonologist had already made contact with her (which impressed me very much) but given how much pain I was obviously in, his initial take was that I belonged in the ER of the hospital in which she has privileges, which is in New Jersey.  Then he examined me and I saw that grave look of concern in his face which I have only seen a handful of times in the 30 years I’ve known him and it scared me.  He suspected I had Pleurisy, which would explain the severe “back” pain but he’s not a pulmonologist and instructed me to GET TO THE NJ ER.  Before I left his office, we discussed the efficacies of the Prednisone and how this BOOP episode seemed to be following the same exact track of the 2011 BOOP episode.  He concurred but also added that being on Prednisone for only 2 weeks in such a high dosage is not the end of the world especially if by doing so we were trying to avoid chemotherapy.  I told him I had to see the NYC Pain Management doctor before I headed back to New Jersey because I was in too much pain and wanted to make sure I had medication if I was not admitted to the hospital or for when I was discharged, if I needed it.  He understood and concurred since he had recommended this Pain Management Doctor to me many years ago.

The Nuances of Pain Management

I then went to see the NYC Pain Doctor and he also was intimately familiar with how I was “presenting” because he treated me for Pain during the 2011 BOOP episode, both IN and OUT of the hospital.  I told him that as per my NYC Crohn’s doctor, who has been in close contact with my new NJ pulmonologist, I was going back to New Jersey after we were done to go to my doctor’s emergency room. He also thought I may Pleurisy based upon the location, severity and “background” of the situation.  He then gave me a prescription for Oxycodone, which I have taken many times before.  I filled the prescription but didn’t take any pills because I didn’t want to “mask” whatever problem I had and I knew how complicated this could get so I thought it best to try and manage the pain until I got to the ER.  For those of you wondering why I just don’t see a New Jersey Pain Management Doctor, you don’t understand how hard it is to find such a compassionate doctor who nevertheless helps you straddle the fence between Dependency and Addiction and is stern with you when you steep too far one way or the other. I’ve tried to find a more convenient NJ Pain Management Doctor but they are getting harder to find all over especially after TV shows like Dr. Sanjay Gupta’s well-intended “Deadly Dose” which highlighted how people abuse Narcotic Painkillers.  (I produced a respectful Video Retort to Dr. Gupta’s show as a “voice” for those in chronic pain who don’t  abuse Painkillers and I’ve been contacted by MANY people associated with that TV show thanking me for showing “that side” of the situation.)

You also aspire to find a Pain Management Doctor who will help you maintain the best possible lifestyle given your physical limitations.  But there are also too many Pain Management Doctors who easily prescribe pills and patches without worrying about the consequences once the patient needs to “get off” these medications, for one reason or another.  There is also Health Insurance issues to consider as while it is counter-intuitive, many Health Insurers put limits on the number of Pain PILLS as opposed to paying attention to the Strength of the Dose prescribed.  Accordingly, in order to not have to be more dependent than necessary on the Pain Management Doctor, you need one who can help you navigate the almost barbaric and arbitrary rules set by each Health Insurer so that you can live your life without worrying about having taken one or 2 extra pills in a day and how that will affect your remaining monthly supply of pills.  In summary, it is a wonderful alternative for those battling chronic pain but everything comes at a price.

Entering the New Jersey Hospital Emergency Room

I had never been to this hospital before and was very impressed with how clean and organized the ER admission process was.  As a chronic patient, I felt like a Tourist “on the road to find out.”   But I was also intermittently writhing in pain as my back felt like it was on fire.  I had called my NJ pulmonologist’s office ahead of time hoping she could meet me there or at least leave a detailed message for the doctor in charge of the ER because it has been my experience that any personalized patient information communicated to the ER greatly facilitates the speed and quality of your patient care in the ER.  In that regard, she was made aware of my situation and I trusted that all would naturally work out.

However, once they “admitted” me into the ER, the only place or room they had for me was a gurney underneath the Exit Sign pictured above.  Recalling it aloud makes it sound like a line from Bruce Springsteen’s “Jungleland” but often times truth is in fact stranger than fiction.  At first, I didn’t really care about being “stationed” in such an open area because I was just happy I was going to be seen by a doctor.  But that logical approach changed after a nurse who claimed to be assigned to me examined my back with her hands and concluded with her secret diagnostic powers that it is only a muscular problem and that I should be fine.  I thanked her for her help but also tried to explain my history with BOOP, the most current findings of BOOP from a doctor on staff at this, HER, hospital and why I was in the ER but she had already made up her mind about me and my apparent “muscular problem.”  She did not listen to one word I said.  She had apparently made her diagnosis and in the interests of TIME and checking off each and every one of her responsibilities,  she was intendant to communicate that to the doctor in charge, as they grew very busy, so that me and my case could be quickly taken care of.  Who needs a CT scanner when Wonder Nurse works at the hospital?

Being labeled a “Drug Seeker” in an ER

I love nurses because they provide the last bastion of “continuity of care” in our chaotic healthcare system and they are usually incredibly compassionate no matter what mood a patient is in or how much frustration he or she demonstrates as they try to come to grips with their medical situation. But this nurse didn’t even listen to me explain that I was only in the ER upon the STRICT DIRECTIONS of the most experienced doctor I have ever known AND I have had this condition before and it feels like I have it again.  In retrospect, she apparently processed me as a “Drug Seeker” because from her perspective all I had was back pain and I was seeking to be seen by the doctor to help alleviate it, in the ER.   That’s not at all true because I was in the ER so that my entire BOOP situation could be re-assessed even if that meant admitting me because the high doses of Prednisone were not alleviating my breathing problems, and, now on top of that, I was experiencing severe pain in my lungs.  However, in due deference to Wonder Nurse, she too had to triage patients and I guess she had this full-proof system of applying her hands to a patient’s body to diagnose medical problems.  I have a friend who has a Blackjack Card-Counting System which works in a similar fashion.

What did I seek to Achieve by Going to the ER?

In all fairness to Wonder Nurse and to the ER doctor whom you will soon meet, it wasn’t really fair for me to “present” in the ER with such a complicated history and diagnosis and expect a successful outcome.  But where was I to go when my NYC Crohn’s doctor and my NJ pulmonologist instructed me to go to the ER if my symptoms changed, and they had?  This is a rhetorical question because I was now in pain but if the pain was just par for the course with the BOOP, I had already been given pain medication so all I had to do was stay the course at home and my NJ pulmonologist would soon devise the appropriate  treatment plan.  That’s easier said than done, and I’m just thinking out loud here, because the combination of struggling to breathe, severe back/lung pain and a history of serious systemic medical problems from such a high dose of Prednisone was like the devil on my shoulder telling me to go to the ER.  That devil got nudged a bit when my longtime NYC Crohn’s doctor INSISTED I go to the ER.  There’s something about being unable to breathe normally which empowers a patient to want to be seen by a magical doctor who could waive his or her wand and make it all better.  But, as also pointed out to me by my NJ pulmonologist when I was forced to call her FROM THE ER, what did I expect, the ER doctor to start infusing Cytoxan into me?  She was right, as I wouldn’t have let Wonder Nurse or the ER doctor pop a pimple for me let alone administer chemotherapy.  And I write that with all due deference to the magical diagnostic skills of Ms. Wonder Nurse.

Waiting for the ER Doctor was like waiting on a line for a Concert Ticket Bracelet

Despite my utter frustration, I tried to maintain a positive attitude in the ER and I know, probably better than most, how hectic an ER can be and that there are ALWAYS patients sicker than me.  However, with the knowledge that I was already under the active care of a Hospital pulmonologist and had already been diagnosed with BOOP, and if the ER doctor had read my file he would have seen that I also had it in 2011 and went through hell as a result, you’d think I’d be seen within an hour or two but it took almost 3 hours for the ER doctor to grace me with his presence.  During that much anticipated wait, I was left to lie on that gurney writhing in pain BEGGING for someone to help me.  I felt like a DOG who had been run over by a car who now posed such an ugly picture and stench that people just passed him by.  Whenever Wonder Nurse would walk by to get access to see another patient (after all, I was in the middle of the hallway so it was impossible to avoid me) and hear me politely ask for help, she would patronize me with false claims that “the doctor knows all about you and will be here soon.”

“Soon” came a few hours later when a very polite and kind doctor INTERVIEWED ME.  He never touched me or examined me.  I suppose he had grown accustomed to relying upon the magical diagnostic prowess of his Wonder Nurse.  I asked him to PLEASE call my doctor and I also succinctly explained the BOOP situation – both past and present. He said he would come back and give me some medication to make me “comfortable” and then he would examine me.  He then asked me about which medications work for me and I explained how I’ve seen a Pain Management Doctor on and off for 30 years so I know exactly what works and what doesn’t work.  But in-between sharing this information with him, I could barely breathe and I was also interrupted by severe pain.  He then darted off and I assumed he was going to call my doctor and start the process of addressing my pain and then taking an x-ray, blood work, EKG, etc.  It seemed I couldn’t exist outside a hospital with all of these symptoms and needed some relief or answers.

I was getting scared by the progression of the BOOP, or whatever else was wrong with me, yet for some odd reason after being “interviewed” by the ER doctor and “diagnosed” by Wonder Nurse, I didn’t feel as if I were in the right place.  I couldn’t put my finger on why or when I felt I didn’t belong in THAT ER but I think it began when no-one seemed interested in my medical background and current diagnosis of BOOP.  Another hour went by when Wonder Nurse came back to start an IV line (which she did very well) and then she gave me a dose of the drug Toradol.  Toradol has never worked for me and with the intensity of the pain I was in, it was as if they again weren’t listening to me or reading my file.  Immediately after the blood work and administration of medication, a Male Technician then performed an EKG test on me while I was on the gurney.

The EKG Test which won’t Wash Off

The Male Technician had to stick several sticky “connector” pads onto my body mostly around my heart so that he could obtain a reliable EKG reading.  He then applied some type of “paste” or glue which I imagine acts as the conductor.  He was polite and did not hurt me at all but when he was done he had left AT LEAST SIX (6) sticky “connector” pads glued to my torso and back AND the paste/glue was never wiped off my chest so it solidified and became entangled with my chest hair.  I now had Glue Soup on my Chest and was perplexed at how sloppy his work was.  Was his interpretation of the result just as sloppy?  I wondered.  I know it is a relatively small detail but after showering 7 times since Tuesday, I had to shave off ALL MY CHEST HAIR just to get to the bottom of the Glue Soup entanglement and I am still not done because as the hair grows back the glue starts to pull again and it now hurts such that I must shave it in the morning.  Again, not a big deal but how does a Technician leave so much glue on a patient without thinking about wiping it off and completing his job?  How does a Technician affix EKG connector pads to a patient’s body and then simply leave them there after he gets his test results?  Patients are also Consumers and based on any objective scale of quality of service, that’s akin to a restaurant customer ordering soda or coffee for dessert and having it spilled on them while the Server smiles, turns around and heads to pick up his or her tip at the next table.  This little EKG sloppiness was indicative of my entire horrific evening at this hospital’s emergency room.

Trying to get “Treated” in the Emergency Room – What does that mean?

Whenever I caught a glimpse of Wonder Nurse, I tried to explain to her that I am NOT comfortable and she, again, in the most patronizing manner said she will communicate that to the doctor and he will take care of it.  Another 90 minutes went by and NOTHING HAPPENED – no Nurse, no Doctor – NOTHING.  I think they took me for an x-ray during this period of time and then dumped me back on the gurney beneath the “Jungleland” Exit sign.  Trying to divert my attention, I made believe I was writing the song “Jungleland” and the lyrics were coming to me out of thin air

“Outside the streets on fire in a real death waltz
Between flesh and what’s fantasy and the poets down here
Don’t write nothing at all, they just stand back and let it all be
And in the quick of the night they reach for their moment
And try to make an honest stand but they wind up wounded, not even dead
Tonight in Jungleland”

Lyrics/Music © Bruce Springsteen

After I hummed the phase, “tonight in jungleland,” that’s when I CALLED MY NJ Pulmonologist and explained to her that “this medication was not helping me and I’m being ignored.  Moreover, I feel as if they all think I’m here seeking drugs when I am here because you told me to come here if the symptoms get worse.  Yet, I have, and they are doing nothing about it.”

It was a frustrating conversation because I was in pain and annoyed yet I have great respect for this doctor.  She then said there’s only so much she can do because she is not there and there was no way the ER doctor was going to start giving me Cytoxan so what did I want done?  I thought about her answer and realized that even the best of ER doctors is not trained to “treat” me or my complex condition in the ER.  They are trained to deal with life-threatening or painful situations so they could patch up patients for the purposes of getting them healthy enough to leave and see their specialty doctors.  But I still couldn’t breathe very well and was in severe pain so I didn’t know where else to go.  I didn’t even know what to ask my doctor to do for me because I had come to the ER almost on automatic pilot based on the recommendation of my NYC Crohn’s doctor and also on the overriding opinion of the NJ pulmonologist yet she now was both confused and powerless although I’m sure she felt bad for me.   I have a great deal of experience with these types of medical/ER situations but I can’t even imagine what someone without Health Insurance goes through when they decide to come to the ER.  In any event, I then decided to just ask her to do whatever she could to help me – whatever that meant – and then I conveyed my appreciation for any assistance she could offer.  It was at that moment I began thinking that going to the ER was a big mistake.  But, again, where else should I have done?  Rhetorical.  Maybe Wonder Nurse knows.

HIPAA Patient Privacy Rules in the ER

Another hour or so went by while I moaned and groaned and everybody watched me lie there like a dog who had just been hit by a car because there were no curtains or even attempts to afford me ANY privacy.  Under HIPAA Patient Privacy rules, ERs are afforded greater latitude in blurring the lines between Patient Privacy and providing Public Healthcare because it is very “situational” and they must do the best they can with what they are presented with and it’s better to save lives and treat more people than it is to possibly violate some technical HIPAA Privacy laws.  I “get” that but such latitude is only afforded to the ER when Patient Care is actually being given.  In my situation, I was being patronized and ignored.  I suspected the flat x-ray did not show much but that is not uncommon with BOOP and it is EXACTLY what happened to me in 2011 which is why they had to operate on me to see for themselves, just how bad it was.  I tried to communicate this to ANY nurse or doctor who would pass by but they just kept on walking as if I were a piece of toxic waste lying on a gurney waiting for the Disposal Service to pick me up.  That damn neon Exit sign was broadcasting my emotions like a 1970s Peter Lemongello Mood Ring.

The ER Doctor returns – and this time with Attitude

The ER Doctor came back after approximately 50 doctors and nurses passed me by during the previous 2 hours or so without uttering a word.   He obviously had seen my x-ray and consulted with Wonder Nurse about my muscular diagnosis because this time he brought an attitude with me.  It was as if he had introduced himself to me as Mary Tyler Moore but had come back as “Maude.”  I wonder if he knew had he hugged me that the EKG glue would have bound us together like Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear in the Farrelly Flick, “Stuck on You ?”  Come to think of it, I should have hugged him and thanked him for the Toradol just so he’d have to shave all his chest hair for 1 week straight!  Anyway, in my own ROOM, I could defuse this apparent situation-in-the-making but lying on gurney beneath an Exit sign while other medical professionals were laughing at me under their breathe, well, this was going to be a challenge.  It was almost as if he suspected something about me and something, or someone, confirmed that suspicion.

I initiated the conversation and conveyed to him that he had previously said he would make me “comfortable” but whatever he gave me did not work “and for the past 2-3 hours I have been lying here moaning and groaning in pain.”  While I did not ask specifically for narcotics, he said there was no way he was giving me narcotics for muscular back pain and that there is NOTHING WRONG WITH ME.  He carefully and loudly annunciated that there was “NOTHING WRONG WITH ME.”  His attempt to belittle me was as subtle as Maxwell Smart testing a listening device planted on the tip of his nose.  I ignored his unprofessional behavior to try and get to the matter at hand, which was TREATING ME, and asked him if he spoke to my pulmonologist on staff at the hospital and if he was familiar with my diagnosis and my 2011 similar diagnosis of BOOP which required chemotherapy.  He didn’t answer almost as if to purposely try to embarrass me in front on MANY PEOPLE, since I had absolutely no privacy and this included Health Care Providers, fellow patients and their families, and then he simply reiterated that all he could do was give me muscle relaxers. I again asked him if was familiar with my BOOP diagnosis and he said he spoke to my doctor and it is no big deal and there is nothing he will do for me.  I then tried to demonstrate how difficult it was for me to breathe but his interest in my breathing patterns were similar to my interest in his.

The STIGMA of Pain Management

I then explained to him how painful BOOP and Pleurisy can be and that in 2011 it was so bad that I had a Pain Management Doctor treat me.  The SECOND that phrase “Pain Management Doctor” rolled off my tongue he whipped out his cell phone as if he had been waiting to hear a prompting secret phrase about Richie Sambora from a cheesy FM Rock Station giving away “Bon Jovi” Concert Tickets so he could call into the radio station for concert tickets and he said something to the effect of: “Really, I want his name and I am going to call him right now.”  In front of MANY people, this ER doctor was trying to threaten me with some type of exposure for being what is referred to as a “Drug Seeker,” which is a patient who goes to ERs just in search of narcotic pain medications to get high.  It then hit me that being labeled a “Drug Seeker” was what had happened to me ever since Wonder Nurse “diagnosed” me with muscular pain because according to her she was able to “replicate the pain on touch.”  I told the ER doctor to please put the phone down because I can do him one better in that I saw that Pain Management Doctor earlier in the day and he actually gave me a prescription for Oxycodone.  Strangely, the doctor then said, and asked me, the following: “I want to see that prescription bottle right now and why haven’t you taken any if you are in so much pain?

Standing up for your Rights as a Patient, Consumer and Human Being

Again, I had an audience of many people and I could barely breathe but I was laughing at his ridiculous suggestion that I would take my own narcotics in an ER before I was diagnosed by a doctor in that ER.  I then tried to remember where I had put the prescription (I had come in with a Knapsack as I thought I might be admitted) and then I found it, showed it to him and also conveyed the above statement that I would never take narcotics prescribed for me to take AFTER I LEAVE the hospital – if I needed them – while I was in the ER under the care of another physician.  My ethical intent notwithstanding, after looking at the prescription bottle the ER doctor started walking away and I asked him to, “Please stop because by walking away I am assuming you are done treating me.  If that is the case, then I have wasted 5-7 hours of my time and I want this Intravenous Line REMOVED ASAP so I can leave.“  He kept going but not before I told him I want his name so I can file a complaint as both a Patient and a Consumer.  He said it would be on the Discharge Papers. Then a few nurses kindly nodded and indicated they would facilitate removal of the IV.  I waited approximately 20 minutes and nothing happened.  I then asked at least Five (5) different Health Care Professionals to help remove my IV and not one even looked at me.  I felt like a pariah who was somehow guilty of something, yet I still couldn’t breathe and was still in severe pain.  But that is no time for a pity party as a patient must stand up for him or her self even though it’s very hard to do when you are so physically compromised.

The Extreme Measure of Removing my Own IV

After a few minutes of taking in how bizarre this experience had been, I “announced” to the significant number of health care professionals walking in and around my Exit Sign, or Room area, that I was going to take out the IV line myself and would greatly appreciate if someone would simply provide me with some gauze pads and a Band-Aid.  I was tethered to my gurney because of the IV line so I was unable to access any such supplies.  No-one even looked at me.   I waited another 5 minutes to see if perhaps they would send over the Charge Nurse or even Security but NOTHING HAPPENED.  Then a very kind Male Nurse placed some gauze on my gurney along with a Band-Aid and told me he couldn’t physically touch me because I was doing something I am not permitted to do under hospital policy and he advised me I should wait for my nurse to remove the IV but he understood why I needed this material. I found his “participation”  interesting for two (2) reasons:  1. Wonder Nurse had somehow made it to my gurney to drop off my Discharge Papers but yet did not offer to take out my Intravenous line; and 2. Given that I was being ignored by everyone else, why didn’t this male nurse go one step further and stick up for me and try to have the IV properly taken out by him or by someone else?

Perhaps that is presumptuous of me because I did truly appreciate his act of pure kindness but I imagine the overriding rules of the ER prevented him from taking care of me since I was Wonder Nurse’s patient.   But I had a better chance of Bruce Springsteen coming into the ER specifically to remove my IV than I did of Wonder Nurse helping me in any way whatsoever.  It was like a lost episode of the Twilight Zone which in a strange way made me think Mr. Springsteen might literally appear.  It was as if whatever I needed or wanted I was not going to get in THAT ER.  I then carefully removed the IV but since I am NOT a medical professional, blood started spurting all over the place and it may have even hit the ceiling.  But, I knew how to stop the bleeding and did so and placed the Band-Aid on the bloody wound.   That same kind male nurse told me that I should use the restroom to freshen up as I had blood all over me.  I thanked him.  The wound is pictured above (albeit 2 days later to highlight the bruising)  and I can confidently say that had the IV been taken out the way it was supposed to be removed, I would not be at all black-and-blue.

Interlude – When your Frustration gets the best of you – APOLOGIZE

Incidentally, this was the same male nurse who correctly chastised me hours earlier for cursing on my cell phone when I was improperly venting my frustration to my Mom when she called me in the middle of this fiasco.  It was the 2nd night of Passover and I missed my family and my anxiety turned into intense frustration from the way I perceived I was being mistreated in the ER.  I was trying my best to be polite to everyone in the ER, even Wonder Nurse, but the increasing hopelessness of the situation and my fear of what I was to do if they couldn’t help me in the ER, got the better of me along with the aggressiveness which comes along with being on 60 MGs of Prednisone for 10 days.  Thus, all I could do was apologize to this male nurse and stop cursing.  I did that, I feel bad about it, but it happened while I was out in the hallway under that Exit Sign, on a gurney all alone, not being able to breathe very well and often in severe pain.  It’s not an excuse because there were families all around.  I am just trying to provide context for what was inappropriate behavior by me. I never cursed at ANYONE in particular and all of my profanity was “frustration-based” and not at all directed any person.  To the credit of the male nurse, he accepted my apology and hours later when I needed help with the IV, it was HE who help me.

You must delete the Pictures of your “Room” in the ER!

I then thanked the male nurse for the gauze and Band-Aids, used my phone to take some pictures of my “ER Room,” being extra careful to NOT photograph anything or anyone that could be identified as the Hospital, the ER or as any Person.  I respect people’s right to privacy and I wasn’t looking to embarrass the hospital, the ER of its staff.  I just wanted to get a picture of the “Room” I was kept in at the ER while they treated me like a Drug-Seeking Animal.  I then went to the bathroom to freshen up and when I got out of the bathroom and headed back to the gurney, there were two (2) Security Guards standing in and around my palatial ER “Room” demanding that I delete all pictures I took with my cell phone. I initially told them, “No,” but the main security person seemed to be very reasonable so I decided to explain my intent and offered for him to LOOK at the pictures on my phone and I said I would delete whatever he thought was contrary to hospital policy unless I disagreed with his interpretation of that policy.  Before I could engage with him, however, his colleague was too aggressive for my tastes when he tried to “grab” the phone from me so he could impose his will on me and my cell phone.  Having just pulled out my IV by myself, the sight of blood didn’t scare me so I pulled the phone back from him as I looked him directly in the eye and said, “I am trying to cooperate here so please don’t make this a scene.  I have offered to reasonably cooperate so either get your hands off my phone or I will keep all the pictures.”  His partner calmed him down and I got back my phone.

The calmer and Head Security Guard starting explaining to me the hospital has a policy of no pictures and as a trained attorney I asked him for proof of that policy. While he sent someone to get it, I did exactly what I said I’d do and politely showed HIM every picture, including the above Exit Sign which denoted my very special place in the hallway. He respectfully requested that I delete EVERY picture and I told him I would only delete pictures which identified the hospital and there were no pictures of people since I would never even do that.  But because he was so nice, I told him I would delete all of them EXCEPT the Exit Sign.  He wasn’t happy but at least we settled our dispute in a quick and amicable fashion.  The other security guard is still looking for the hospital’s policy on no pictures.  Then the Security Guard began escorting me out of the ER and we had a pleasant conversation the entire time, although I still had pain and problems breathing as I walked.

Illegible Discharge Instructions – I wanted ER Doctor’s NAME

On the way out of the ER, I told the Security Guard I wanted a legible printing of the ER doctor’s name and he brought me to the Charge Nurse.  This particular Charge Nurse had just gotten on shift and said the doctor’s name is on the Discharge Instructions.  I told him it was NOT, or if it was, it was “coded” so that hospital personnel knew who treated me but I would have NO IDEA.  Therefore, I wanted him to please print it legibly for me.  At first he just printed the last name and because it was a foreign name I was unsure whether I had the first or last name so I asked for the full name.  For some reason, this Charge Nurse took issue with that but I persisted and he gave it to me.  What is the big secret about getting the name of the ER doctor who treated me and charged me money for that treatment?   I just looked at the Discharge Instructions again and now that I know his full name I see that the first initial of his first name and then his last name is printed next to “Attending” in the upper-right-hand-corner of the Discharge Instructions.  How in the world would I have been able to decipher that code? Clearly, this methodology of  “transparency” is  not that at all and is simply a way for the hospital to keep track of which doctor treated me – just in case.  That policy MUST CHANGE and Patients must demand that it change.   When you get your hair cut, don’t you know the NAME of the hair stylist?  Then I asked him to identify the Charge Nurse who had been on duty during my ordeal and he gave that to me as well.  I wanted that person’s name because in my experience he or she should have come over to at least investigate what was going on with me, if not to help me, beneath that neon Exit Sign in the hallway.

What’s next after Emergency Room – who do you see when the ER doesn’t help?

When I left the hospital and got to my car, I started crying.  I didn’t know what to do next and I felt as if I had no one to turn to.  Besides my immediate symptoms, I was worried about what was going to happen going forward as that 2011 episode of BOOP is still so fresh in my mind.  Then I got angry and that was most likely due to the Prednisone because I am NOT an angry person.  I’ll admit to being in Pain and Scared but Angry I am not.  I am frustrated at times but always POSITIVE.  I knew I needed to talk to a friend and thankfully I have several of them and this particular person just listened to me describe what I had just experienced and how scared I was of what was going to happen to me next.  It felt good to “unload” all of this information, I also shared it with a fellow Patient Advocate who I have great admiration for and her compassionate response also made me feel better.  But I could not sleep and I started to think I was going to have to wait until my follow-up appointment next Tuesday to speak with my NJ Pulmonologist, and whatever might happen to me before then, was just going to happen.

Don’t WIN the ER Battle & LOSE the Treatment War

At approximately 11 AM on Wednesday (the very next day), I received a phone call from my NJ Pulmonologist’s office telling me I had a Wednesday, 3 PM appointment with her.  I was puzzled as I never made that appointment.  This office person told me it was in the Discharge Instructions.  I double-checked, it is not.  Regardless, I needed help so I went to see her.  She could not have been nicer or more compassionate and I chose to use my time with her to focus on getting me better.  My experience in her ER really had nothing to do with her and any time I spent belaboring that point was wasting time that could be used helping me get better.  This is important for other patients to understand because you might win the ER battle, but lose the Treatment war.  This is also why you must choose your battles carefully.  The ER is by necessity a tough place in a world of “love em’ and leave em’” medicine.  But when you are in your doctor’s office, focus on what’s really important; YOU.

The Battle was how badly I was mistreated in the ER; the War was getting me better from the BOOP.  My doctor really had nothing to do with the battle and given how complicated my case is, conceivably only Wonder Nurse could have helped me.  :)   I did, however, point out how I resented being labeled a “Drug Seeker” when the ER doctor CLEARLY knew NOTHING about me or my situation and he had completely misunderstood whatever she had told him.  To my surprise, my NJ Pulmonologist told me I was right and then we moved on.

Patient Input alongside Science & Medical Experience

She concluded after 10+ days of observing me that the Prednisone is NOT helping me and she began decreasing it AND she informed me she would be  “scoping” my lungs on Friday.  Not that she wasn’t “listening” to me before, but when we SPOKE on the phone in the ER I had commented that at some point my patient input has to start counting for more because I’ve lived this BOOP fiasco in 2011 and I don’t care to re-live it, if that were at all possible.  I think that made her shift a bit in making room for my patient input amongst her scientific mind and medical experience.  It’s a difficult journey for an experienced patient and smart doctor to go through together but science hasn’t yet evolved to the point where patient input is irrelevant and I was glad to see how adaptive my doctor is as she pivoted her approach a bit.

Post Friday’s Bronchoscopy

I had the Bronchoscopy on Friday under General Anesthesia.  In 2011 I could not have this endoscopic procedure because the doctors thought my lungs were too far gone to substantiate its risks.  The test went well and the doctor excised a number of biopsies but she is concerned.  She is concerned because BOOP is microscopic and while we are waiting on Pathology Reports she might have to also facilitate an operation on my lungs so she can take larger biopsies.  She’s just being thorough so that when and if she decides to administer some type of Treatment Drug, it is the safest one best suited to healing my lungs.  A patient can’t possibly expect to get such treatment in an emergency room BUT sometimes symptoms get so bad that staying at home seems dangerous.  I am accustomed to making such decisions with my Crohn’s Disease when the prospect of a perforated bowel is the touchstone for grabbing that medical “go bag” and heading to the hospital.  But with my lungs, I guess it’s a different standard. Again, the amount of Prednisone I am on could also get me VERY SICK so I’m simply trying to be true to myself and also follow the directions given to me by doctors.  I think my NJ Pulmonologist finally gets that and she finally gets me.  I can’t ask for more unless Wonder Nurse can see through my lungs.  :)

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MAW PPP Dec 21 2012

WATCH 3/21/13 IBD Round Table Discussion

Last night, March 21, 2013, at 9:00 PM EST, Frank Garufi, Jr. complied a “Round Table” of Four (4) people who he perceived to be amongst the leading Patient Advocacy voices for Inflammatory Bowel Disease (IBD), Crohn’s Disease and Colitis.  Frank is an incredibly dedicated and well-educated IBD Father to an 8-year old boy who was diagnosed with Crohn’s when he was approximately two (2) months old.  Since then, Frank has been on a crusade to educate himself as best and as quickly as possible so that he could be as helpful to his son as possible, both NOW and in the FUTURE.

As part of Frank’s crusade, he occupies that crucial IBD, Crohn’s and Colitis space in Google+ which many of us Advocates have yet to master.  To that end, Frank was kind enough to include me, Michael A. Weiss, in this 4-person Panel of Advocates and I was honored for that consideration.  However, I was even more humbled during the almost 2-hour IBD Round Table because I was sharing the Round Table with these Inspiring and Brave Advocates:  Christina Matthies  , Sara Ringer  and Sarah Choueiry.

What we Discussed and Addressed

We each came at the thoughtful and provoking questions and IBD issues posed by Frank from different perspectives, lifestyles and ages but we all seemed to be  opining from similar severity “spectrums” in terms of our respective IBD diseases.  That diversity resulted in a non-stop engaging discourse on all things IBD, Crohn’s and Colitis including, but not limited to, ramifications of Advocacy, opinions on how to best raise awareness of Crohn’s Disease and IBD, pain management’s role in treating the disease, how best to navigate the healthcare system to obtain the best treatment, the myriad of medical decisions which must be made by the IBD patient while compromised physically and emotionally during a hospital visit, how best to communicate with doctors, how best to offer support to fellow “Crohnies” or other IBD patients, the journey to a correct diagnosis, managing the financial woes which often accompany the chronic and expensive nature of Crohn’s, Colitis and IBD and its diagnostic tests, treatments and drugs and addressing the potentially disabling nature of these autoimmune disease.

The Therapeutic Value in candid IBD discourse

In discussing these issues, succinctly designed by Frank Garufi, Jr., we also interacted with one another in a way which I think demonstrates the broad range of coping skills one needs to successfully manage these life-altering diseases.  I think we also demonstrated the therapeutic value in TALKING about the multifaceted aspects of IBD, Crohn’s and Colitis.  Simply being able to “relate” to another IBD patient or “Crohnie” going through the same experiences left me feeling incredibly positive about future developments in IBD, Crohn’s and Colitis Patient Engagement.  If I felt that way simply discussing my disease experiences with 4 other people, I hope YOU will see how empowered that can be when YOU do the same, whether in a health care social medium platform, a virtual patient community like Crohnology.com or in real life with a close friend, colleague or loved one.

Please Comment & Pose Questions for Next Month’s IBD Round Table

If you have IBD, Crohn’s or Colitis, or love someone who does, PLEASE watch this Video, or at least watch parts of it.  Please also note that this IBD Round Table Discussion will now be a MONTHLY EVENT on Google+.  The time and date of the next one will soon be announced and I will certainly pass it along to you.  To that end, your comments and questions are WELCOMED so that we may address them when we reconvene.  Thanks.

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Dr. Greenbaum, Rheumatologist – WORST DOC of the YEAR!!!!

December 4, 2012 – I came upon this Blog Post late last night when a respected Patient Advocate Colleague of mine, Casey Quinlan, had re-tweeted it with the added commentary that, “it’s only Monday but here’s my pick for Douche of the week.”  First off, I apologize to those who are offended by the “salty” language but please hold off on any judgment until you read what this Rheumatologist, Dr. Larry Greenbaum, wrote in his Blog.  Secondly, I have come to know Casey Quinlan as a strong, respectful and articulate woman who is ALWAYS on the right side of a debate so when she uses such language to emphasize a point, there must be a good reason.

Judge for yourself, as pasted directly above is the Blog Post made by Dr. Greenbaum, dated November 30, 2012, entitled, “Kiss my …”  After reading it and my email response to Dr. Greenbaum below, you will understand why this Blog post SO repulses chronic patients like Casey and me and why it prompted me to write to Dr. Greenbaum below.  In that regard, PLEASE feel free to comment on THIS Blog Post and/or to send Dr. Greenbaum an email of your own as he posts his email address on the Blog as rhnews@elsevier.com.  Finally, for what it’s worth, I think Casey Quinlan was onto something by crowning Dr. Greenbaum “Douche of the Week,” but after closer inspection of his Blog post, I hereby nominate him for “Worst Doc of the YEAR!!!”  What do you think?

December 4, 2012

Dear Dr. Greenbaum:

The Patient Perspective

I do not have a medical practice like yours.  In fact, I’m not even a doctor but I’ve been battling the autoimmune and incurable illness, Crohn’s Disease, for the past 30 years so I am somewhat of a “Professional Patient.”  With that experienced perspective, I read your 6-paragraph Blog post dated November 30, 2012, entitled Kiss My … and I was repulsed by your utter disrespect and lack of professionalism, compassion and patience for your 75-year-old patient. Your behavior is unacceptable in ANY medical specialty but especially so in Rheumatology because that medical specialty is usually one of last resort for patients with chronic and/or inexplicable pain or conditions which other medical specialties are not able to identify.  As a result, they refer these patients to doctors like you who then assume the great responsibility of often being the last bastion of hope for these long-suffering patients. But to learn that you vilify certain patients who merely “hassle you” in a written, GLOBAL forum, for all the world to read, for the rest of time, is disheartening at best and “creepy” or even criminal at worst, in terms of your compliance with HIPAA requirements and possibly even Billing Fraud, depending upon your actual billing practices in the event you accept Medicare and Medicaid patients and payments.

HIPAA & Patient Privacy

More specifically, I believe your November 30, 2012 Blog post about this 75-year-old’s patient’s medical ailments and complaints is an egregious violation of at least the spirit of the “HIPAA” law which was enacted to require Providers to follow procedures that ensure the protection and confidential handling of protected health information such as ‘personally identifiable health information’ held or disclosed in any form including orally, written and electronically. The HIPAA laws are simultaneously general and specific and often difficult to abide by or enforce, except if you follow a simple logical rule.  That is, treat ALL patients’ privacy and records with the same conscientious care you’d use in handling the medical records of a beloved family member.  While you did not disclose this 75-year-old’s name, you may have disclosed enough information in this Blog post that he, his family members and his former physicians, might be able to figure out exactly whom you were talking to, and about, in the Blog post.  Accordingly, and applying the aforementioned rule of logic (and compassion), if that was your 75-year-old mother, would you want a fellow physician to talk about her like that to a GLOBAL audience via a written Blog post?

The following passage is the 1st paragraph of your Blog post:

If your practice is like mine, you probably don’t bill for “consult level 5″ very often. That is the most expensive level of care on our office super-bill, and I usually reserve it for patients with huge volumes of records, patients who take an inordinate amount of time, or patients who annoy me in some other extraordinary fashion.

Billing Annoying Patients More than other Patients

As a chronic patient with voluminous medical records, I can surely understand your policy of charging a patient more if he or she requires a significant additional amount of your time than the typical patient.  That said, and I do this with my doctors, if a patient comes in for a consult and clearly demonstrates that he or she organized their medical records in a succinct and logical fashion out of respect for your time, there should be no additional charge.  After all, in such a situation you are merely doing your job but in a more diligent manner due to the rigors associated with the complexities of a particular case.  Regardless, I guess doctors could disagree about billing practices in such situations but YOUR credibility is lost when you stated you’d charge more for “patients who take an inordinate amount of time, or patients who annoy me in some other extraordinary fashion.

Who is to judge if a patient is taking an “inordinate amount of time?” Maybe they are handicapped, disabled or simply nervous about telling you their story after being disappointed or intimidated by so many doctors on their journey to simply being diagnosed?  Maybe their underlying illness causes a condition which affects their ability to act in a “normal” fashion?  Have these possibilities ever crossed your mind when you devised your God-like billing practices which I am sure run afoul of Medicare Billing Practices?   What about the patients who “annoy [you] in some other extraordinary fashion?”  I am quite familiar with the “Current Procedural Terminology” billing codes or “CPT” codes and I have never come across a CPT code for charging a patient more simply because they are a pain in the ass.  How do you justify that?  Don’t you realize that by admitting you do that, you are possibly committing billing fraud?  Again, have you ever stopped to think that these “difficult” patients are merely scared from having fought through the arduous bureaucratic healthcare system in the United States?  If that’s the case, do you really think it is fair to force them to, in essence, pay a “tax” for having put up with pain, disappointment and frustration?  If life were fair, these courageous folks would get a DISCOUNT for all their troubles!

In Paragraph 2 of your Blog post, you state:

I charged him level 5 for taking so much of my time, for bad-mouthing his previous doctors, and for incessant whining. Although he had developed RA only about a year and a half ago, he gave a long and ruminating description of his treatment, or mistreatment, as he saw it. (Underline and Bold Emphasis Added.)

You Charge Extra for Whining Patients?

So, you charged this 75-year-old man a higher patient fee than usual because he was bad-mouthing previous doctors, whining about his situation and providing you with a boring patient history?  As a person trained to be a medical doctor, what type of “telepathic” training enables you to make these decisions?  Perhaps the patient wasn’t “bad-mouthing” his previous physicians and just trying to tell you the truth about how he was treated by previous physicians?  Or, are you of the belief that physicians can never be wrong nor can they ever mistreat a patient?  We both know that the truth is probably somewhere in the middle but you seem to classify anything a patient says as “suspect” simply based on its source.

Then you cited him for “incessant whining” as if you knew exactly what it felt like to go through all he had to in order to get to see you, such that you knew what to differentiate as “whining” from what was simply the articulation of chief medical, physical or emotional complaints.  How arrogant are you?  I suspect the only pain, disappointment and frustration you feel is when the new Mercedes Class of cars comes out and your present lease is not yet expired.  Do you have any idea what it is like to do battle with the pervasive effects of an incurable, painful chronic illness like Rheumatoid Arthritis (“RA”)?

What do you know about suffering from Rheumatoid Arthritis?

Do you have any idea about the physical, medical, mental, financial, emotional, professional, psychological, social and familial effects a chronic, inflammatory, autoimmune disease like Rheumatoid Arthritis can have on a patient?  You obviously DO NOT as demonstrated by you classifying this troubled 75-year-old patient as one prone to inappropriate “incessant whining” and writing that in a Blog for the whole world to read as if THAT will educate people about RA and help them cope with the horrific disease.  What’s worse is that you used these observations to justify charging this poor patient more than usual when it is this type of RA patient who needs a doctor willing to show some compassion and understanding and spend an extra few minutes with him.  Based on your “golf club bedside manner” and “scale of annoyance billing practices,” you should be barred from treating patients with chronic diseases like RA which have such serious pervasive effects.  Moreover, based on this Blog post, I wouldn’t trust you cutting my dog’s toenails, and I’m not even through the 2nd paragraph!

Do you discount bills when YOU Whine to Patients?

Then, before the 2nd paragraph ends, you WHINE about the apparent thorough Patient History you were given by this 75-year old.  Following your example, should this patient then get some type of refund for the amount of whining you did during the consultation? You tempered this “Patient History” with the phrase, “as he saw it.”  From what other perspective was this patient supposed to give you a Patient History?  Do you put ANY stock in the words of patients?  Have you forgotten that your most effective tool in medicine is your ability to LISTEN?  Then you included very specific patient notes in this Blog post about the patient’s response to Prednisone.  I reiterate that such a specific notation could help identify the patient and then cause a HIPAA violation.  I am only commenting on this Blog post because YOU made it public and I want to make sure you don’t do this again with another patient.

A 75 year-old just being 75

In Paragraph 4 you reveal one of your trade secrets: If all else fails, examine the patient.”   Apparently, it was a very long patient interview because the man is 75 YEARS OLD and that logical concept seemed to escape the grasp of your narrow mind.  While examining him you added that [j]ust for good measure, he spent some more time bad-mouthing his previous foot-doctor.”   Dr. Greenbaum, this man is 75-years-old and “talking” is what a person of his age does.  But that does NOT give you license to broadcast his “issues” on a Blog for the entire world to read especially in such a negative light whether he has a little Dementia, he had valid issues regarding his previous foot doctor or he was just being 75.  In Paragraph 5 you indicate he had a “bunch of other chronic medical problems including neuropathy.”  Was was it then a surprise to you as to why he had such a long Patient History?  Maybe he was recently widowed and didn’t know how to organize his medical records or thoughts properly. Did you ever think of that or do you simply look at test results or use you telepathic skills to diagnose and treat a patient?

You have the sincerity of a 3-Card Monty Con Artist

In Paragraphs 5 and 6 you indicate that you and he exchanged banter about you knowing his neurologist. You indicate at the beginning of Paragraph 6 that “I always think patients feel a little more confident when their doctors know one another.” However, you prefaced this logic saying “i[t] was a throwaway comment on my part….”   What does that mean?  Do you really want to make a “connection” with a patient and make them feel comfortable or are you doing the least amount of connecting as possible just so the patient doesn’t out you for the jackass that you are?  Then you explained the weird response you had elicited from this 75-year-old but, even by your account, it seemed like the patient was “playing” with you and trying to make some sort of “connection,” albeit a strange or unorthodox one, just as you claim you sought out to do by indicating you knew his neurologist.  Observing the situation you wrote: “He didn’t seem demented or hateful, just weird.

You Have the Bedside Manner of a Handball

Dr. Greenbaum, by your OWN ACCOUNT, the only person who seemed weird in the encounter you chronicle in this Blog post is YOU. What does “hateful” have to do with anything in a physical medical examination, especially one in which you couldn’t care less (and didn’t ask) about any stressful situations in his life affecting his medical condition?  The fact that you wrote this all down and included it in a Blog post seems indicative of your instability as a person and possible incompetence as a physician.  You’ve potentially violated a patient’s privacy and simultaneously revealed how you go about treating and billing a patient.  You have the bedside manner of a handball and if there is a place in medicine for you, it is either in research or radiology, where your training can serve you and others well, and you will not have to interact with any live patients.

Become a Radiologist or Live up to your Responsibility

Lastly, if this 75-year-old man was your Father or Grandfather and you came across this Blog post on the Web, how would you feel?  You, as a Rheumatologist, are the source of last hope for many chronically ill patients and they deserve to be treated with more compassion and dignity. I think your Blog post is disgusting and extremely troubling and I only hope that my informing others about this Blog post helps you take an honest look at how you are treating patients who, for whatever reason, rely upon you greatly.  PLEASE try and live up to that responsibility.

                                                                        Respectfully yours,

                                                                        Michael A. Weiss

Pain Patient Retort to CNN’s “Deadly Dose” program re: Prescription Drug Overdoses

My respectful 7-minute Video “Retort” to CNN’s & Dr. Sanjay Gupta’s recent show “Deadly Dose,” which revealed the growing tragic problem of narcotic/opioid prescription drug overdoses.  My perspective is that of a chronic pain patient who is worried about new laws addressing this tragic problem but over-reaching and, in doing so, “throwing out the baby with the bath water,” and making lives of chronic patients MUCH more difficult.

 

 

 

Crohn’s Disease Surgery: 17 Days “in the Joint”

On June 11, 2012, I was admitted to Mt. Sinai Hospital in New York City for what was approximately my 17th surgery for Crohn’s Disease.  Like the crew and passengers on “Gilligan’s Island” who set out to sail on the “S.S. Minnow” for “a three hour tour,” I was told to be prepared to spend 5-8 days in the Hospital.  However, due to my extensive surgical history, I knew there was a good chance of complications and that I could be “in the Joint” for several more days.  Sure enough, just like Gilligan and the Skipper, my “three hour tour” turned into 17 extremely challenging days in the Hospital, or “the Joint,” as chronic patients refer to it.  Unfortunately, I also had to survive without Ginger and Mary Ann.

What 17 Days in the Hospital, or “Joint,” Taught Me

More seriously, after a few additional unexpected days of vulnerability, reliance on impersonal medical professionals and overall confinement, the hospital starts to feel like a medical prison of sorts.  The effervescent personalities and supreme competency of most Nurses helps but it’s still human captivity.  Perhaps unlike the “Hotel California,” you can always leave but the various IVs in your veins and the Foley Catheter in your Private Part indicate otherwise.  Moreover, it has been my experience that how one copes with being a medical prisoner most assuredly affects their recuperation and state of mind going forward. Therefore, below is a summary of my most helpful and entertaining thoughts from each day “in the Joint.”  It is my hope this detailed but succinct recollection helps other patients when they are faced with unexpected delays in their discharge from hospitals no matter what the underlying disease or problem.

But First:

Nurses are the Backbone of the Healthcare System

Please also remember that no matter how great your Doctor is, the quality of your stay at the hospital is largely determined by your interactions with the Nurses who are the only medical professionals whom have contact with you 24/7.  These wonderful professionals are also responsible for your “continuity of care” such that tomorrow’s doctor knows about what happened to today’s patient. (Unfortunately, many doctors only believe their own eyes and skills of perception and that’s how they impede the progress of our healthcare system.)  In any event, no other medical professional is responsible for such comprehensive Patient Care so try and appreciate your Nurses and tell them how much you respect their efforts.  Also, hospitals now engage Hospitalists and Nurse Practitioners (“NPs”) to try and simplify and streamline the experience but if you are hospitalized more than a few days you quickly notice how our present Hospital & Healthcare Systems are not your Father’s “Marcus Welby, M.D.”  Rather, they are more like a modern day cluster-fuck, especially for those with chronic illness.  So, try and stay out of the hospital as best you can because once you become a Patient, all bets are off.

The Use of Social Media in the Hospital

My last observation regarding the “hospital patient experience” is that I am tired of listening to hospital executives struggle with how to incorporate social media into their businesses.  All it takes is one executive to stay in the hospital as a patient for 24-72 hours and he or she will realize that there is so much downtime that a hospital employee should ALWAYS be walking around with a Flip Camera or microphone obtaining Patient Testimonials of all sorts.  Some may be good; some may be bad.  Either way, these sound bites will modernize the experience and improve patient care.  Whether patients opine on their surgeons, doctors, nurses or even the facility, there is much to be learned from the new patient consumer and I can’t think of a better way than to capture it in real time using modern-day technology which can be shared across all platforms of social media.  Not everything they hear will be good but patients will understand the hospital’s intention of capturing their insights and thus will more often than not contribute useful personalized nuggets of modern-day information which will help bring hospitals up-to-speed in terms of operating as both a business and a source of patient care.

The Surgery

Based on detailed and exhaustive diagnostic testing of my small bowel, I went into the June 11, 2012, surgery knowing I needed repair of three (3) Strictures (or substantial narrowings) in my small intestine via a surgical technique called a “Strictureplasty” and possibly one (1) “Resection” if the culprit was diseased intestine instead of Adhesions.  My surgeon performed each procedure expertly but he expressed concern that he had to cut through Adhesions (i.e., Scar Tissue) for almost 2 hours before he could even get to my small intestine. With Crohn’s Disease, surgery is not an ideal treatment because the disease typically recurs and thus could warrant additional surgery.  Since each patient has only a certain amount of small intestine, patients should only undergo surgery when nothing else works.  This explains my predicament as no Crohn’s Disease medications have been able to slow down the advancement of my rather aggressive disease.  In terms of Adhesions, scar tissue forms with EVERY surgery and more surgery begets more Adhesions.  In fact, on more than one occasion, I have had Crohn’s Disease surgery simply because Adhesions had grown such that they were blocking my small bowel.  Therefore, having so many Adhesions is unfortunately a part of my life since I’ve already had 16 or 17 Crohn’s Disease surgeries in and around my small bowel and that would explain the cocoon of sorts my surgeon encountered and had to cut through when he opened me up to operate on my small intestine.

A Recent Surgical Memory Made me Anxious

A few days before I was to report to the hospital for the June 11, 2012 surgery, I started to think about my 16 previous small bowel surgeries and the pain and unpredictable ups and downs I experienced while in the hospital and at home after the surgery. I also started to freak out about that particular moment being rolled into that sterile silver-shining surgical suite looking at a Black-n-Decker-type saw joking around with the various medical professionals attending to my surgery knowing that once they gave me the Michael Jackson “juice” I was going to wake up in severe pain with yet another abdominal surgery to recuperate from.

But truth be told, my mind was also playing tricks on me more than usual because of my last abdominal surgery in 2010 which involved a very talented surgeon at a world renowned institution who nonetheless had the personality of a handball and was more interested in his post-operative statistics than in my welfare. I can’t prove this so I am leaving his name out of it but his post-operative actions certainly would make a reasonable person wonder about his priorities.  So, when my body was slow to “wake up” after the surgery in 2010, his staff still started me on the bowel recuperative ladder of clear liquids than full liquids than soft foods simply because I had told them I thought I had “passed gas” in my sleep.  That is partially my fault because after not eating for many days the mind’s inclination is to error toward passing wind but the speed with which I was bumped up from clear liquids to real food was nonsensical, especially with a patient like me who already had 15 or so surgeries in my small bowel.

The Benchmarks of Bowel Surgery

Please follow me on this and trust I am utilizing medical terminology:  Passing Gas after bowel surgery is the 1st touchstone of success like when NASA shoots off a Rocket and it flies straight up to the moon.  In keeping with the NASA metaphor, having a bowel movement is like walking on the moon and returning to the ship without incidence.  Passing Gas also indicates moving ahead with a clear and full liquid diet while “laying a log” means you are ready to forge on ahead to the $99,000 question, or graduate to eating soft foods. This is the logical bodily function measurement of success after bowel surgery so long as your bodily functions kick in normally after you drink and eat.  The exception is if you become “Distended” where your gut starts to noticeably stick out indicating that the liquids or food are not being properly digested.  Gross Abdominal Distension is VERY painful but the body’s natural protective powers alleviate this pain prior to your stomach exploding by Projectile or Violent Vomiting.  This is not the slickest of super powers but the pain of Gross Abdominal Distension after bowel surgery will make you wish you could vomit if only to alleviate the pressure.  (I apologize for the graphic and somewhat gross terminology but in the hospital these words are “terms of art” so please cut me some slack as I’m trying to be 100% honest in the hope that others learn from my misfortunes.)

The Perils of Gross Abdominal Distension

In the days following my 2010 surgery at this world renowned facility, my surgeon’s team discharged me because presumably I was eating and had passed the flatulence and defecating criterion despite looking like Santa Claus after gouging on 35 White Castle hamburgers.  However, on the day of Discharge, when my family was flying home to NJ from this hospital, I begged the intern and resident (the surgeon was too arrogant to meet with me and face his “failure”) to reconsider my Hospital Discharge because I obviously was not ready to be discharged.  I could see their eyes examining my grossly distended gut and their brains beginning to listen to me with cause to be concerned but they told me that patients often are well enough to be discharged from this heavenly hospital but at the same time they may not be well enough to return home as the pressure in an airplane could make a distended or prematurely healed abdomen explode.  Nice.  Their lawyers must have coached them well.

Mama Cass & Projectile Vomiting in a Small Hotel Room

My Mom and sister boarded a plane back to New Jersey but not before getting me a hotel room directly across from the hospital.  Since we were trying to save money, I opted for the smallest room and that is exactly what I got.  Standing in the middle of the room, I could stretch out and touch the 4 corners of the sleeping area with the TV and bathroom only feet away in different directions.  Like anyone hospitalized for a significant period of time, I was relieved to be out of the hospital but I still felt painful pressure in my midsection as whatever I had eaten was forcing it’s way either down my bowels or up through my mouth; whichever was the force of least resistance.  My money was obviously on gravity but I never was that lucky in gambling.  Sure enough, at 3 AM or so, my body decided which way to go and I was awoken while in the middle of Projectile Vomiting all over myself, my bed, the TV and anything within 6 feet of my mouth – and nose.  UGH.  Besides the obvious, I was also Homesick and took no solace in the fact that I was right in not being ready for Hospital Discharge but there was no female to impress and even if there was, I didn’t exactly look like I had just made the winning catch in the Super Bowl.

Please understand that I’m not trying to write salacious details; all I am writing is the truth.  I was all alone, thousands of miles from home and having almost choked on my Vomit, I didn’t want to go out as a Mama Cass-type personality who bought the farm at a hotel room not even 100 yards from this presumably great hospital.  So I cleaned up everything that had even a hint of my insides on it and assumed I had evacuated enough to take a shower and go back to sleep. I was even optimistic that perhaps I could fly back to NJ the next day since there couldn’t possibly be anything left in me after I hit the TV while regurgitating.

While showering, I started to review the events of the past few days and I grew angrier and angrier since had my 2010 surgeon EXAMINED my Gross Abdominal Distension, he would have noticed that something was wrong because my belly was so “blown up” I looked like the Octomom carrying at 8 months.  I also had a very serious incision which ran almost the entire length of my torso so at that time in the shower there was no time for playing the blame game as I had to switch gears back into Survival mode.  In keeping with my reasonable goal of not waking up vomiting, I tried not to think about my horrific experiences at this glorified hospital and went back to sleep.  But at 5 AM I was awoken again in the middle of Projectile Vomiting and it seemed my body was in convulsions since not much was coming out but I was gagging so furiously that I could barely breathe.  Even my Bookie could have told me that I needed to be Re-Admitted to this hospital so I called this “world-renowned” hospital to make the arrangements and in my post-operative state during which I couldn’t lift more than 10 pounds due to my entire torso being cut from top to bottom, I packed up my luggage, called the Concierge and explained my situation. The Concierge could not have been nicer and told me to just leave my luggage outside my door and they will store it for me indefinitely at no cost.  I warned her that the room was nasty but she brushed it off and made me feel like a priority.  She then told me to worry about nothing but getting better and just get back to the hospital safely.   Contrary to my experiences at the arrogant hospital, there are nice people in this world.

The Longest Yard – Back to the Hospital

As soon as the hotel porter arrived, I gave him $20.00 and babbled the least gross details I could muster up to best explain my situation.  He was very cool and insisted I let him walk me to the hospital.  The hospital was only a cross-walk away but it was the longest 100 yards I ever had to maneuver as I was weak, dizzy and still occasionally vomiting or at least gagging.  It was like “The Longest Yard” except no-one would have paid admission to see the ugly show I was putting on.  I looked like the character “Caretaker” had he survived the explosion in his prison cell.  I was running on adrenal because I didn’t want to die 30 feet from this hospital since that would be the way people remembered me.  “So close, but yet so far.”

A Great Hotel Porter & a Schmuck of a Surgeon

It’s funny what you think of when you are seemingly faced with your mortality.  I tried to guide my mind to some of the beautiful woman I have been privileged to know but the prospect of being re-admitted to the hospital drowned my positive thoughts with a very harsh reality.  Anyway, someone from the hospital put me on a gurney and wheeled me the rest of the way to re-admission.  At that point, the Hotel Porter had made the hand-off and was leaving.  I thanked him and warned him to have his underling clean my room.  He smiled and moved close to my ear and said: “Don’t worry, Mr. Weiss.  By the way, how in the world did you hit the TV?”  He smiled, I laughed.  A light moment I so desperately needed in light of what was to come over the next few days and weeks.  When I got back to a Patient room and had my first interaction with my arrogant Surgeon, he ignored the fact that I was discharged too soon and blamed ME for not “opening up” fast enough.  It felt as if he had post-operative surgical statistics and I was that outlier patient who ruined his average.  I begged him to listen to me but he had his mind made up.  It was the worst of post-operative experiences especially since it stemmed from my surgeon NOT LISTENING TO ME.  That worried me and will always worry me with respect to any surgical procedure.

It was this lovely 2010 experience which was etched in my mind as I made my final arrangements for the June 11, 2012 Surgery.  (Note:  My 2012 surgeon seemed like the opposite of the schmuck who operated on me in 2010, and he proved to be so, but my mind was so affected by the aforementioned experience that I couldn’t help but worry.)

Below are contemporaneous notes from my experiences in the Hospital during the day and date indicated.

June 11th – Day 1 – Date of Surgery

I reported at 11 AM for a 1:30 PM surgical tip-off time but as soon as I arrived at the Pre-opt area they rushed me.  Preparations went so fast that I did not have time to contemplate how difficult this hospital stay might be.  Before I knew it, I was dressed for surgery lying in a bed in the “on deck circle” but not knowing my number in the line I was in.  I then saw my surgeon and he was very reassuring and promised me that given my exhaustive experience he would ALWAYS consider my body’s past experience.  His words gave me tremendous confidence.  As soon as he left the pre-surgical area, a couple of anesthesiologists asked me to sit up as they started grooving the Epidural into my back.  It was all becoming too real.

Once the Epidural was secured, I was rolled into the Operating Room and for some reason I did not have a panic attack as the entire crew of medical professionals were nice and funny.  Maybe they hid the Black-n-Decker Table Saw from me?  Strangely, my biggest fear after surgery is being COLD and in Pain.  I think it is the Vulnerability each sensation causes.  Together, they make you feel like that dream when you are in the 6th Grade Assembly on the stage fully naked in front of all your classmates.  They had me on the drug Fentanyl and also gave me a “PCA” Pump which is a Patient Controlled Analgesic gadget which allowed me to give myself doses of the Fentanyl every 6 minutes.  They were supposed to also put Fentanyl in the Epidural but they did not, at least at first.  All in all, though, for the first 10 hours after surgery my pain seemed to be under control and the nurses were fantastic.  They really made me believe that I was getting personalized attention because this was my 17th surgery.

Tuesday, June 12th – Day 2

My sobriety was unpredictable but I do remember my surgeon coming in and explaining that my surgery was a success but that he had worked more on freeing up my Abdominal Adhesions than he had on any other patient.  That freaked me out because as I get older (I’m 49 as I write this), Crohn’s Disease surgery simply begets even more surgery no matter how successful it is.  For that reason I must train my mind to accept that there is a very good possibility I will be back in that Operating Room because of these Adhesions and also because where the surgeon did the Resection the subsequent Pathology Report indicated that it was active Crohn’s Disease and there are presently no Crohn’s Disease maintenance or prophylactic medications I could take having exhausted even the cutting-edge Biologics.  Notwithstanding the foregoing sobering thought, I had to direct all of my survival skills on the matter at hand and that was overcoming this surgery with adequate pain relief and trying to stay even keel throughout the inevitable ups and downs of the hospital stay.

As I began to wake up from the anesthesia, the pain medications started to fail me because with each passing 30 minutes my gut and almost entire torso began to feel raw as if my surgery were performed only a few minutes ago.  I informed my nurse but I was in such intense distress that it was obvious to everyone that something needed to be tweaked to help me.  Having been through this so many times, it is difficult to continue to participate in what I call the “pain management trial and error approach” but I had no choice.  Accordingly, at first the very nice folks in pain management increased the PCA “Bolus” (i.e. a one-time shot of increased medication) which was the amount of extra Fentanyl I could get every 3 hours or so to help myself.

But after a while even that wasn’t enough so they increased the 6 minute dose along with the frequency of the Bolus, i.e., instead of every 3 hours I could get it every 2 hours if I asked.  Then one of the nurses realized they hadn’t put Fentanyl in the Epidural and that seemed to explain why I was still in such discomfort, so once they did, all of these combinations seemed to calm my pain to an acceptable limit.  This is what I mean by the “trial and error approach” because they want to give you the least amount of pain medication as is possible while also resolving your unreasonable pain. I detest this process since my body has established enough data to provide correct starting and increase points but almost all doctors ignore patients in this regard.  Surgeons want the body to work as naturally as possible and narcotics tend to slow down the intestines.  Since increased bodily functions get the patient an advanced diet and subsequent discharge from the hospital, all of the doctors try to keep the amount of pain medications to just the amount necessary to take the “edge” off the pain.  However, for the first 2-3 days of full-blown abdominal surgery, the doctors understand it is amongst the most painful surgeries so they let you take what you need to soon at least get out of bed and stand up.  I’ve always required a large amount of narcotics due to the combination of high drug tolerance and low pain threshold (this is a byproduct of too many surgeries) and I’m getting tired of having to prove it by screaming in pain.  But, that’s the game.

As an experienced surgical patient with this exact surgery, I knew that I would wake up from surgery with 2 IVS and a Foley Catheter (this goes directly into your man or womanhood and prevents the need to get out of bed to urinate so that you could rest), so I needed some help as there’s nothing more frustrating than having all these attached tubes and intense pain but yet needing to move a bit to answer the phone or to change the temperature in the room.  I find it difficult to call the Floor Nurse for such mundane matters when they have more pressing needs with other patents to address so I hired a “Nurse’s Aid” or “Nurse’s Assistant” from Tuesday Night, June 12th (i.e., when I figured I would truly wake up from the surgery) until Friday morning, June 15th when I knew I would have the Foley Catheter taken out; I’d be in more manageable pain; and I would be much more coherent and able to “fend for myself.”

Hiring a Private Nurse was out of the question (although I did hire one years ago when it was patently obvious that the nurses at Mt. Sinai Hospital were overworked with 8-10 patients each) since I did not need a Nurse’s expertise, and, besides, they typically cost $75/hour. But Nurse’s Assistants are only $300 for each 12-hour shift and they are wonderfully trained to help patients with anything and they always seem to show up with enthusiastic attitudes and that helps with the mental recovery.  Also, the Nurses at Mt. Sinai Hospital on Floor 9 East are THE BEST for gastroenterology problems.  The Nurse’s Assistants also helped me get up off the bed and walk which is a key to getting the body back to normal.  Without them, it would have been impossible to organize the 2 IVs and the Foley Catheter just to take a walk down the hallway.  They also made sure my Room and I was clean and that I was getting all the medications on time since I was still too vulnerable to speak for myself.  I also like to have Nurse Assistants for the 1st few days because it puts less pressure on my friends and family to come by every day when I could do nothing more than moan and groan.  But come Friday morning at 7 AM, history demonstrated I would feel I was capable of managing my own affairs.  Besides,  while I could always use the physical assistance, I couldn’t afford even their reasonable price of $300.00 per 12-hour shift after indulging myself for the 3 1/2 days of Nursing Shifts.

Accordingly, I highly recommend Nurse’s Assistants for anyone who has anxiety about the post-op process or for anyone like myself who won’t have people visiting them routinely since they figure you are an old pro at handling surgeries. That’s a reality I hold with contempt because these surgeries only get harder and harder each time and I wished most of my friends and family understood that.  But then again, I think it is human nature and I try to ONLY focus on the positive when I’m in the hospital.  I don’t keep a list of who called or visited and who didn’t.  I’d rather smile and laugh with those of my friends and family who think enough about me to visit or call repeatedly than to build up animosity toward other people who could have a million reasons why they did not call or visit.

Wednesday, June 13th – Day 3

Roommates in the hospital can make or break your stay that’s why you MUST bring ear buds to drown out snoring as you listen to your iPod and be careful about getting too close to your roommate as some could have life-threatening diseases and it becomes very sad when you overhear them get bad news. I found this out when the doctors did their Morning Rounds with their residents on Wednesday morning at approximately 6:30 AM and the main doctor treating my roommate, whose bed was the first one as you came into the room, treated OUR room as his office.  Yes, a curtain divides us but when the doctor turns on the lights and I can hear everything that goes on and the doctor talks so loud it’s as if he’s in his own office, it feels intrusive until you consider that you are in the hospital and your privacy zone extends just to the tip of your nose.  Also, I was sleeping when he came in, which doesn’t come easy in the hospital, and I was so close to calling him Sergeant Hulka and advising him that “I know I speak for the whole platoon when I say that today’s 12 mile run should be cancelled….”  I was dreaming about the Bill Murray movie “Stripes” since I watched it on my laptop just before going to sleep.  Bottom line:  there is very limited privacy in the hospital and the sooner you get used to it, the better.

Turns out my VERY nice roommate had Colon Cancer and a few days prior had some type of bowel surgery to remove cancerous growths.  So, his surgical healing was secondary to his recovery and we did not speak much but I did pray for him.

As I was now getting into the hospital routine by going to sleep at 10 PM and rising at 4 AM (assuming a Patient Care Associate did not wake me at 1 AM to give me a sleeping pill) when the nurses took blood so that the results were ready for the doctors by the time they took Morning Rounds @ 6:30 AM, I had also become in synch with the Patient Care Associates waking me up every 4 hours to take my Vital Signs.  You can refuse but they still woke you up.  Additionally, with few exceptions, every hospital patient must have an IV line connected to them for emergency purposes but IV lines typically last for a maximum of 4 days.  Thus, I was getting close to being stuck again for my new IV and due to my various surgeries and hospitalizations, my veins have scar tissue in them and this makes me VERY hard to stick.  The nurses tried their best not to hurt me but after a while I felt like a pin cushion with both arms black and blue from successful and non-successful attempts at starting an IV.  Somehow you must “give-in” to this culture but every once in a while I refused a blood test because I felt it was superfluous for the nurses to take my blood every day when my ultimate problem did not involve my blood counts.  If a doctor corrected me, I did whatever he or she said.  In any event, I was ALWAYS respectful toward the Nurses.  You can disagree with them or refuse treatment but you must always respect them.

With my Nurse’s Assistants almost finished with their 3 1/2-day assignment, I tried to walk as much as possible with them on Wednesday to try and get my insides moving with bowel sounds.  No-one can predict when it will happen but walking around sure helps.  As things began to move around inside, I was getting increased pain from the gas bubbles moving through my bowels trying to make their way all the way through.  At times, the gas pain was so bad that I couldn’t answer the telephone or speak to people because all that came out of my mouth were moans and groans.

Thursday, June 14th – Day 4

During Morning Rounds, the surgical team of residents told me my nurse would be taking out my Foley Catheter today.  They also noticed I was moving quite nicely thanks to the aid of the Nursing Assistants and due to the Epidural which was taking away the most serious of my pains so they also suggested that I go from sucking on ice chips to advancing to a clear liquid diet.  The aforementioned nightmare experience in 2010 had somehow escaped me at that moment and besides, I figured how bad could some apple juice and yellow Jello be?

My nurse took out the Foley Catheter and it doesn’t hurt but it feels like an 8 second burst of tremendous pressure and then it is all over.  What a relief.  Now I only had 2 IVs but I was able to maneuver out of the bed without much help or fear of ripping a line out of me as I got out of bed.  When lunch and dinner came, I drank my clear fluids and the day’s activities were done.

Friday, June 15th – Day 5

When I woke up I noticed my abdomen was grossly distended and I was in a great deal of pain from the pressure this distension was causing me.  My surgeon completely understood but even he felt that this was just a temporary setback and he told me to drink the clear liquids if I felt like it. But then I remembered the events of 2010 and I hit the brakes and told the entire surgical team that I was not eating (or drinking) until the distension went down.  (I also know that my surgeon and the hospital must deal with my health insurance company which allots a certain number of days for this type of surgery and I was headed to exceed it.  It doesn’t make a difference that I am a “difficult case” until my surgeon concludes as such and communicates that to the insurance company.  I think he was waiting until after the weekend to do that based on my progress or lack thereof.)

The rest of the day I walked around trying to tire myself out in the hope that my body would go back to normal and I would resume my bodily functions.  It seemed to work because small amounts of gas started to seep out below and this was music to the ears of the surgical residents. This is when you must know the difference between Interns, Residents and YOUR SURGEON.  The Residents and Interns are smart and hardworking but they are learning.  I added to their learning curve by telling them that the gas I expelled was not the type which indicates I am “open.”  I sensed some of them nodding their heads in unison almost as if to say: “We are Interns and Residents.  This is just a Patient.  We are smarter than him.  Who cares what he says.”  However, others found my case intriguing and were willing to listen to me as long as I did everything they said.  All I know is that I tried to uphold my end of the bargain.  I also understand that many of these interns and residents get treated poorly by some Attending Physicians so they often take it out on unsuspecting patients by walking out as the patient is talking.  So I purposely write down my questions beforehand and preface my comments with a respectful plea that they not go anywhere until I am completed with my questions.  If I show respect for their time, they should reciprocate.

With the weekend coming up, I grew anxious about the Covering Doctors since weekends in the hospital are filled with the most junior of medical professionals with some rare exceptions. In that regard, I had a peculiar run-in with my own private Pain Management Doctor who now was taking over my case since the hospital’s Pain Team had removed the Epidural Friday morning.  I thought that was rather quick but they scared me with the risk of infection so I acquiesced.  However, I knew from experience that it would take approximately 5-10 hours for me to feel the difference with the Fentanyl loaded Epidural now out of my system.  For that, I wanted pain relief because sometimes that onslaught of pain can be overwhelming.

I discussed this fear with my Pain Management Doctor and he blew me off.  I was still close enough to removal of the Epidural to act competently and I tried my best to respectfully ask him to listen to me and to please give some credence to my experience with these things.  But he just did some calculations regarding how many days I was post-op compared to how much medicine I was on and was ready to write prescriptions for minimal pain medications which would have been a disaster waiting to happen.  It is also important to point out that he did not once ask me how I felt or if I was getting adequate pain relief.  He was like a robotic machine without any personal skills.  He then started telling me what he intended to prescribe and I respectfully said that the amounts he was suggesting would not be enough for me to avoid withdrawal and/or from getting adequate pain relief once the effects of removing the Epidural took hold.  Then, without provocation of any kind, he started berating me and telling me to tell him what to write.  I explained that between his medical knowledge and experience and my experience with 17 surgeries, we could come up with the correct combinations of drugs.

He then seemed to lose his patience with me and repeatedly berated me with comments like: “Tell me, what should I write?  You’re as smart as a doctor, tell me.”  He was like a petulant child and I had no patience for his disrespect of me especially when it came to my pain control.  I’d been through enough and wasn’t asking for much. He is the junior member in the Pain Management Practice I use and my doctor, the Primary Shareholder in that Practice, was off on vacation so I was stuck with this arrogant a-hole.

When I gave him background to all the points I had made, he threw his prescription pad up in the air and told me that I was going to get what I wanted anyway so what do I want?  His attitude belonged in a Lee Myles Transmission Shop and not a Hospital but I still kept my composure and told him I just wanted him to treat me on a personalized basis commensurate with how I have been treated in the past.  I added that I have no idea what I needed but then I listed what had and what had not worked for me.  We finally came to some agreement but it did not account for possible effects of the Epidural being removed.  This was the second time in 6 months I had a run-in with him; the first time being an emergency during which he again scowled at me but later called me to tell me he had an argument with his wife and should not have come down on me so hard.  I was stunned then and disappointed now.  But proving history repeats itself, a few hours later this jackass came back into my room and apologized for his behavior as he realized he could have dealt with things better. I told him I didn’t take it personal and shook his hand.  I lied.

Saturday, June 16th – Day 6

Amazingly, my Surgeon was in the Hospital BOTH Saturday and Sunday.  On Saturday he removed an 8-10 inch “JP Drain” which had been inserted into my abdomen during the surgery to give the doctors a window into the wound but now it needed to be pulled and sealed up since the skin around it was getting red from its desire to close my abdominal wound. Much like with the Foley Catheter, I was to experience an 8 second “discomfort” but this was much worse because it had essentially grown into my abdomen and when the doctor pulled it out it felt like he was pulling out my private parts through my abdominal wall.  UGH.

I was still grossly distended and wasn’t really passing any gas so the pain was actually increasing a bit.  Additionally, I started to feel the effects of the Epidural being removed and at times my speech was incoherent; that’s how much pain I was in.  The doctors don’t like to increase the pain medications because they slow down the body’s natural process of peristalsis which will only compound the Abdominal Distension problem.   Accordingly, I was apparently on the maximum pain medications I could be on and they all assumed the rest of the pain was just cramps or gas moving through my “new” intestines but it hurt like hell.  I obviously had a large bowel movement moving through my body and each time it moved an inch, I couldn’t talk for an hour.  It was SO uncomfortable but I knew that is the nature of the beast.

I then had another run-in with my Jackass Pain Management Doctor who was getting “nervous” about the amount of pain medications I was still on now that it was several days post-op.  I tried to explain to him, when I could talk, that my case is different than others since I’ve had 17 surgeries at this same spot but he didn’t care.  He was just worried about his own behind.  This stemmed from him slightly increasing my Bolus of the pain medication Dilaudid since I was in so much pain I couldn’t even speak.  I told him I was afraid this would happen once they pulled out the Epidural but he didn’t care. In fact, he again berated me and told me that if I became sedated because of the new Bolus, “That was it!!!!”  I didn’t even know what that meant but I asked him if it was really necessary to get so adversarial with me when I was in such a compromised state?  He countered with some long diatribe about the DEA being on his back and he has a wife and kids and wasn’t jeopardizing it for me.  It was bizarre and something I will take up with his Boss, my doctor.  I then not so politely told him to get out of my room as I didn’t need the negativity.

Sunday, June 17th – Day 7

Nothing much changed on Father’s Day except I appeared to be passing more gas so my Surgeon told me to take small bites of Soft Foods just to see how I feel.  I trusted him emphatically since he clearly trusted me.  He felt that maybe that would stimulate a bowel movement.  With the memory of 2010 not far from the forefront of my mind, I nevertheless did exactly what my surgeon said.  The difference was the mutual Trust and Respect between us.  My surgeon also went out of his way to tell me that he was taking my lead and that I need not worry no matter how long it took to open up.  His confidence in me was quite reassuring.

As it was also Father’s Day, I was glad my two best friends did not come and visit me since they had families of their own and I did not want my situation to come between them.  Therefore, I profusely thanked my friends for their uplifting efforts but pleaded with them to stay home and enjoy their wife and children on THEIR much-deserved day.  People should experience the kind of friendships I have.  My college roommate treats me like a brother and every time I watch the TV Movie, “Brian’s Song,” I think of him because there is nothing he won’t do for me.  My other friend has such a pitch perfect sense of how lonely I get and just pops up whenever he can just to hang out with me and make me feel normal.  These are not obligatory visits.  These are visits from people who care a great deal about me and I’m lucky to have friends who are that thoughtful & unselfish.  I could go on and on about what each has done for me but suffice it to say, they become the HOPE which sustains me when I am in the hospital and without them I could never muster the courage to deal with the hospital and doctor BS I must deal with in order to get well.

Monday, June 18th – Day 8

The accumulation of drinking the clear fluids and just a few bites of soft food made my abdominal distension get much worse and the pain was excruciating.  People tried to call me but I couldn’t talk on the phone, that’s how much pain I was in.  I also did not want visitors because I felt so vulnerable and in so much pain that I couldn’t carry on a conversation.  It was misery.  I felt like a dog hit by a car clinging to life at the side of the highway.  There was nothing anyone could do for me except let my body do what came natural.

After Morning Rounds, I went for my usual walk down the hospital hallway listening to a Sports Podcast to insulate myself from the unique sounds of the hospital.  I turned around and headed back to my room and as I was maybe 20 feet from my room a nurse who I had never seen on the floor before said, “You don’t look good, are you alright?”  I politely thanked her for her concern and then headed back to my room paying no mind to what she had just said.  At this point I was also feeling pangs of a possible bowel movement so I rushed to the patient bathroom and quickly sanitized the toilet bowl and all the surrounding areas with the bottle of Ammonia a nurse had secured for me and sat down.  (It is a MUST to at least accumulate a batch of those Alcohol Pads the nurses use to sterilize injection sites or better yet, a bottle of Alcohol for the purposes of sanitizing the entire toilet bowl area so that when that “urge” comes a knockin’ you can quickly clean the seat and surrounding area and then sit to do your business knowing you’ve counteracted all the hospital nastiness which gathers in that area of the Patient Bathroom.)

I knew that after surgery it was either going to happen or not and the bowel movement was going to happen when it was good and ready.  Still, everyone who is post-op obsesses over its arrival because that means the patient can eat and soon leave the hospital.  But as I sat down on my sanitized seat, I felt that unmistakable feeling that I was about to vomit.  I quickly switched positions and then my Projectile Vomiting experiences of 2010 came rushing into my brain as my stomach went into these uncontrollable spasms of regurgitation which included “stuff” coming out of my nose!!!  I tried to aim everything inside the toilet bowl but the spasms were so powerful that fluid ended up everywhere.  All I could think about was my poor roommate since he too was waiting for a bowel movement to be discharged so I immediately called the nurse and they had the cleaning staff sanitize the bathroom.

The abdominal distension felt better immediately but vomiting didn’t exactly mean that all was okay.  In fact, the surgeon ordered two (2) suppositories for me to use over 4 hours and for the 1st time in my life, nothing happened from taking a suppository.  For me, that was like lighting a match to gasoline and nothing happening.  It was SO frustrating.   My inability to keep things down sparked talk amongst the residents of inserting the dreaded “NG Tube” through my Nose up and then down into my stomach crating a siphon effect to remove all liquid and gas that otherwise would be built up in my abdomen.  I had this done many times before and it was the most unpleasant aspect of being in the hospital with Crohn’s Disease.  I was praying my Surgeon wasn’t going this route.  Besides the NG Tube being inserted without anesthesia, when it is inserted properly you feel like a horse being led around by a rope.  It is horrific and if that were to be the next move it would have devastated me.

Later that evening, I began Projectile Vomiting again, this time while I was falling asleep after a brutal day.  I was running out of clothes as I never anticipated a hospital stay this long and the clothes I brought were soiled with various bodily substances.  I felt disgusting but, then again, when you are in the hospital you are not prepared for a sexual encounter.  You are there to get better and sometimes you need to take 3 steps back before you can take 1 step forward. But thinking about Sex sure did help me cope with some of these situations.

Tuesday, June 19th – Day 9

They sent me down for an X-ray just to make sure everything was okay and that it was in fact my body simply taking it’s time.  Thankfully, all seemed fine.  Later in the day my IV had again run its course and I had to be stuck again.  My physical and mental nerves were getting brittle because each nurse who tried to stick me would try 3 times and then hand me off to a more experienced nurse.  I repeatedly asked the nurse why I had to be subjected to this 3-try rule and she just answered with the company line that a “stick” wasn’t classified as “difficult” unless a nurse had tried 3 times and had failed.  But this time I respectfully rejected every nurse on the floor after one very nice nurse who specialized in “difficult sticks” had tried 3 times. My rejection forced them to get the “Educator” who was apparently the man who taught everyone in the hospital how to start IVs, especially on difficult to stick patients.  I forgot his name but he was in and out of my room in less than 3 minutes and painlessly started a perfect IV.  I was very thankful but also perplexed at the difference in quality between the Teacher and the Students.  I suspect it has something to do with hospital budgetary constraints because there is no special IV Team in the hospital.  Still, IV sticks are the most fundamental connection to hospital patients and one would assume hospitals would pay more attention to it since it is the most personal interaction a hospital medical professional has with patients.

Wednesday, June 20th – Day 10

Early in the morning I called my Mom and told her: “The Eagle has landed” which is my way of telling her that I finally had a substantial Bowel Movement.  It left no doubt that I was now “open” so I felt good that things were moving along and that I would soon be out of the hospital.  Not to get too graphic here but suffice it to say that the reason why I was in such severe pain for days was that the size of this bowel movement was humongous and as it moved through my bowels it caused severe pain since it was moving into areas of my bowel which had been asleep since surgery.  In any event, they moved me up to a Soft Diet once again after going back and forth between Clear Liquids and Soft Duet depending upon the nature of my bodily functions.  Now it was a “Wait and See” attitude as the hospital staff had to monitor what went in my body and what came out.  If things came out without incidence, I would be able to rip this joint.  Notwithstanding the forgoing, my abdomen was still seriously distended so perhaps the Eagle Landed but it took off soon after landing.

At lunchtime, my college roommate, who is always Aces whenever I am hospitalized despite having a lovely wife and three of the cutest kids on the planet earth who want to be with him 24/7, brought me a tuna salad sandwich because the hospital food looked like they got it at Aqueduct Raceway.  He also had a Starbucks coffee with him.  I asked him if I could take 3 sips of the coffee since coffee has always been my morning “starter.” Everything was fine for a few minutes as we talked sports and about his 8 year old’s latest sports prowess but then it happened.  I was sitting in bed and I felt a “white heat” take over my body.  We know each other a long time so thankfully we speak in shorthand and I quickly motioned to him to please hand me the sanitized bucket at the side of my bed.  He got it just in time and then my mouth unloaded on this poor plastic bucket.  When there was no more left to vomit, my stomach and throat still went through intense gyrations. I felt horrible that he had to see me at this most vulnerable of states but sometimes even the closest of friends need to see first-hand what each is up against.  His face was white.  He couldn’t believe the ferocity of the ups and downs I had to deal with.  I felt possessed and must have looked like some creature from a horror movie.  After getting passed the physical part, I began to think of 2010 and I started to get depressed as it seemed I would never “open up” and that I would keep vomiting for the foreseeable future.

My doctors understandably switched me back to clear liquids as it was apparent my body was still not open for business despite my bowl movement.  Thankfully my surgeon understood that these factors belonged to my particular case and I was the case he was treating. Some other surgeons would have placed the responsibility on me as if it was my fault that my body opened and closed like Pain Clinics in South Florida so it was comforting that the doctor calling the shots was on my side – as opposed to 2010 when the surgeon was pissed at me for skewing his statistical post-operation numbers.  Hey, sometimes you gotta look for the small optimistic things otherwise the hospital will win and you will go crazy.

Thursday, June 21th – Day 11

As if I wasn’t stressed enough, I could hear my roommate in the bathroom making those pre-bowel movement sounds which precede normalcy.  Then, after he convinced the doctors that he was on the mend, he was discharged.  I then had my own room for no more than 2 hours when a contingency of loud foreigners checked it.  It seemed the patient was an older man who was admitted for a colonoscopy the next day but because he had some issues properly preparing himself for the test, the hospital admitted him the night before and put a portable toilet next to his bed.  At that point, I used my patient curtains to stay insulated as he was approximately 85 years of age and also deaf so his loved ones had to almost scream to communicate with him.  But later in the day when he had to drink the colonoscopy prep solutions, my annoyance turned 3-dimensional as he began arguing about having to drink the prep all the while defecating into this portable toilet non-stop so the curtain between us did nothing to curtail that all too familiar colonoscopy prep smell.  On the positive, at least he didn’t have to use the Patient bathroom.

There was nowhere to hide so I had to try and isolate myself with my podcasts and audiobooks so that his 24-hour presence would be over before I knew it.  But since he didn’t want to drink the required amount of colonoscopy prep solutions, his doctor had to come into the room and quiz him about the color and smell of his diarrhea.  He challenged his doctor in some foreign language saying something to the effect of: “I shit.  It is good enough.  In Russia, doctors do colonoscopy without preparation so you should be lucky I’m even trying to crap for you.”  Lucky for him, only I was able to translate his imaginary language and the doctor kept smiling and trying to motivate him to keep on crapping because the clearer his diarrhea was, the better the colonoscopy would be as a diagnostic tool.  Roommates.

Friday, June 22th – Day 12

Throughout the craziness of the mad Colonoscopy Crapper, who I refer to as Frans Klamer, I somehow managed to have another Bowel Movement so I began to feel that my days at the hospital were numbered.  That is, until later in the day when I was lying down in my spacious hospital bed and in my sleep began yet again to Projectile Vomit on myself.  Note:  When you are in the hospital you must alter your Dignity barometer a bit because bodily functions are signs of progress or problems. They don’t, however, make for a long-lasting wardrobe.  To that end, how many times do you see clothes advertised by their ability to withstand Projectile Vomiting and the occasional “Shart” or soiling of the undergarments?   This episode of Vomiting left me with SEVERE heartburn from my breast bone to my throat and I also felt like I needed to continue vomiting.  This made it very difficult to rest because if my head slipped below a certain level, I would get nauseous and have to barf.  “Would this ever end?” I said to myself.

The doctors decided to perform a CT Scan to get a better picture of what was going on inside my gut.  A significant hurdle was that I am allergic to IV CT Scan “Contrast” so I had to be pre-loaded with mega-doses of Prednisone.  They also preferred to perform the test on Saturday when more staff would be there in case I had another near-fatal reaction to the IV Contrast.  Then, at approximately 7 PM there was a nursing shift change and I was assigned a nurse I had never had before.  He was as impersonal as a sex doll.  When I told him I was nauseous he just spouted off the next time I could have anti-nausea medication which was something like 4 hours which seemed like an eternity.  Whereas, a nurse with a heart would have responded, “Let me see what I can get you to make you feel better.”  Unfortunately, at least the 1st time you get a nurse like this, you must weather the storm but remember his or her name so that you can tell the “Charge Nurse” that you never want to have that nurse again.  Usually the Charge Nurse will cater to your request because nurses and patients are people too and sometimes there are personality conflicts that are better handled by simply pairing up a patient with a different nurse. Anyway, when I told this compassion-less nurse that I had severe heartburn and was not only in serious distress but I was nervous having to drink the CT Scan Contrast the next day, he couldn’t care less which surprised me because almost every other nurse on the floor had been EXCELLENT.

Given the apparent apathy of my nurse, I was afraid to go to sleep for fear of vomiting on myself but the events of the past few days got the better of me and I succumbed to what should have been a relaxing respite.  Instead, I woke up yet again Projectile Vomiting on myself.  At this same time I had also received a new roommate who appeared to be an Insurance Salesman who was in for a bleeding ulcer which had been repaired years ago but all of sudden recurred. He tried to be friendly through the curtain but I couldn’t raise my voice to normal talking levels for fear of hurling all over myself.  When I did vomit, my credibility with the insurance salesman was intact and truth be told, my vomiting wound up not being such a big deal because I did have a lot remaining from my earlier bout with the upchucks such that after I barfed the pressure in my chest and bowels felt significantly better.  This made me feel better mentally as well because I did not want to need my new nurse overnight unless it involved me throwing up on him.

Saturday, June 23th – Day 13

Prior to going down to the Radiology Department, I had to drink a rather voluminous bottle of Radiographic Contrast.  With my heartburn better but still not normal and me regurgitating everything I tried to eat or drink, I was very worried about ingesting the entire bottle of Contrast but they required me to do so to obtain the best CT study. Sometime before being rolled down to Radiology, I went to the Hospital Gift Shop and bought Tums because I had been dreaming of them to soothe my heartburn.  All that nurse had to do was give me one to ease my pain but because he didn’t see it as being ordered on my computer profile, he refused to do so. He kept saying he was going to call my doctor about the Tums but it was the weekend and every doctor he asked would have no idea who I was.  At least now I was prepared in case this CT Contrast exacerbated the heartburn. Coincidentally, my long-term Gastroenterologist had told me on Friday that often the Contrast for these CT Scans had a way of “opening up” my body.  It was as if the CT Scan was both diagnostic and therapeutic.  I just didn’t know that he meant the Contrast would cause painfully wicked and unrelenting diarrhea.  With that in mind, I drank the entire CT Contrast bottle despite a few gags of utter nausea because I hoped it would push through the abdominal distension and serve as the impetus I needed to get my body acting normally again.

The test went fine but a few hours later I began to vomit up some Contrast while at the same time soil my underwear with uncontrollable diarrhea.  I can handle a lot but this situation almost brought me to the breaking point.  I had no more clothes left and when I tried to go to sleep I wasn’t sure which end of my body would be in action.  Thankfully, the vomiting seemed to stop but the CT Contrast was giving me non-stop diarrhea which had me racing to the bathroom at least 20 times on Saturday and Saturday night.  This was another time I did not want visitors because I felt so incredibly vulnerable but I knew that at any moment a close friend or relative could walk right through my curtain. I yearned for visitors because I was as lonely as the lone survivor on a downed Airplane in the desert but my rear end was so sore from these trips to the bathroom that combined with the intense gas pains slowly moving down my bowels, I just wanted to crawl up in my disgusting hospital bed, at least until nature called again.

I mentioned gas pains above because in any bowel surgery the recovery also involves tiny gas bubbles moving through your bowels very much like they would in a baby who has eaten his first food.  The problem is that no painkiller can treat this pain so the patient has to bear it sans any artificial assistance.  It sounds rather innocuous but it has been my experience that these unpredictable gas pains cause more pain than anything else.  It abates once your bowels start moving but until then you feel every gas bubble like you are being stabbed in the gut.  For whatever reason, the gas pain was intolerable on this day probably because the CT Contrast had caused diarrhea and things were finally beginning to move through the abdominal distension.  I tried to cling to this progress each time I clinched my teeth but before I knew it I was back in the bathroom with violent diarrhea.  Strangely, it appeared as if my rear end was now “throwing up” just as I had been vomiting from my mouth.  These are the things you think of when you are a hospital patient far too long.

At the 7:00 PM Nurse’s Shift Change, I once again was assigned the nurse from Friday night.  Before even greeting me hello, he told me that all of my pain medications had “expired.”  He said it like it gave him pleasure and I wanted to smack him silly.  I had never heard of this but it scared me terribly as I always want to know when doctors change my “Orders” and no-one warned me about any expiration on the mix of pain medications which weren’t ideal but they gave me just enough relief to not fear bouts of intense pain.  Maybe it is psychological, but I need to know what medications are at my disposal because I don’t trust anyone in the hospital.  No offense to the many FANTASTIC Nurses at Mt. Sinai Hospital but for such a long hospital stay I needed some control over my treatment. The fact that it was a weekend made it beyond difficult to get to the bottom of this because weekends at a hospital are, for the most part, staffed by the most junior doctors and I was a senior patient with more medical and hospital experience than almost all of the Residents, Interns and Nurse Practitioners.

The first thing I did was respectfully make a big stink over this nurse who I also had problems with the night before.  The Charge Nurse came into my room and immediately changed my nurse to a very nice and courteous nurse who I had dealt with before.  At the same time, an Aunt and Uncle of mine called to tell me they would be in the city and wanted to know if it was alright if they stopped by.  They were a godsend because by me it would have been impossible to have the pain medications reinstated but with an Advocate acting on my behalf, it was much more likely.  Long story short, after numerous phone calls by my Aunt and Uncle to my Pain Management Doctor along with the assistance of my new nurse, he admitted he made a mistake by putting an expiration date on the medications and told them he would speak to the Nurse Practitioner (“NP”) in charge and straighten everything out.  While that was progress, I knew he’d never speak to the NP and even if he did, the NP would be too nervous to reinstate the narcotic medications as it’s been my experience that NPs are often unsure of their authority.  My Aunt and Uncle agreed and at 11:00 PM, after calling my Pain Management Doctor who was on call, they finally received a return call and he said he would call the Nurse’s Station directly and make sure the Reinstatement Order was put into place.  It was, and I had a peaceful night once the diarrhea subsided and my rear end stopped feeling like it was on fire.

I mention this story with my Aunt and Uncle because, as a Hospital Patient, nobody in authority typically listens to you.  It is worse on the weekends and then when a doctor has to make more than one phone call to fix things, he or she invariably never does (especially on a weekend) so you have to be on top of them as if they are 1st-time waiters at a diner.  It is disgusting the way they treat patients on the weekends especially when there are signs all over the patient room indicating that “Patient Satisfaction is Our Goal.”  I believe the hospital’s intentions but I don’t trust the various medical professionals to do anything about it on a weekend.  Nurses are your best advocates but all they can do is contact the right people.  After that, it takes a focused individualized argument to change the status-quo.  Nurses are usually way too busy for that.  Thankfully, my Aunt and Uncle accomplished that for me on Saturday night.

Sunday, June 24th – Day 14

The results for the CT Scan came in and during Sunday Morning Rounds the Infectious Disease Doctor told me that I had some fluid buildup and my white blood cell count was high indicating I was fighting off some infection.  He chose two (2) antibiotics and I wrote them down just to ensure that there were no miscommunications.  With this progress, I began to see daylight to getting out of the hospital and nothing was going to upset that.  I encourage all patients to be as engaged with your hospital care assuming your condition warrants it because mistakes do happen in hospitals.  I had also brought various medications into the hospital to try and save some money.  When doing this, PLEASE tell your Nurse so that he or she can label them as (temporary) property of the hospital.  There’s no way around surrendering your independence to your Nurse in the hospital.  The sooner you accept that, life inside the hospital will get a little easier.

The rest of Sunday was fairly quiet since the abdominal distension had significantly abated due to my non-stop diarrhea and I was able to hold down the small amounts of soft-food I had eaten.  Apparently, my longtime Gastroenterologist was right in that the CT Scan proved to be therapeutic to my problem of not “opening up” after the surgery.

With my room all to myself I finally began to rest without fear that I would soil myself, my underwear or my bed.  But then I got a new roommate and this one was from the Midwest who had some growth drained from his lower parts but he was a Smoker.  He was a very nice guy and we had a great deal in common but a few hours after he was in the room I began to smell Nicotine.  I let it go since smelling that was much better than the smells of Franz Klammer prepping for his colonoscopy but it sure was strange.

Monday, June 25th – Day 15

The weekend had ended and the real doctors were back in town.  They were all impressed that my abdominal distension had gone down but because of my elevated white-blood cell count and non-stop diarrhea, they had to test me for the most aggressive infection known to those parts of the body called C-diff.  I had C-diff several years ago and it made my 20 or so runs to the bathroom look like an Opening Act.  It is often caught in the hospital so it would make sense I had it given how long I had been in the hospital.  In order to test for it, the nurses needed a specimen of a bowel movement which was basically all liquid at that point.  It was disgusting having to provide them with this sample but just like I said previously, your sense of dignity takes on a different meaning after being in the hospital so long and you do what you must to get out of Dodge.  Thankfully, however, I tested negative for C-diff and my symptoms were simply due to my body reacting badly to the Cat Scan Contrast.

Towards midday after chatting with my new Midwest roommate for a few hours, I smelled Nicotine as if he had been smoking in the bathroom.  To each his own but I knew that smoking in a hospital is VERY dangerous due to the amount of pure oxygen being used.  I never saw him smoke but within a few minutes the Security Guard came into our room and quizzed both of us about smoking in the room.  His investigation was inconclusive as I couldn’t say it was my roommate but once the Security Guard left I told my roommate that I don’t want to know if it was him but in the future please don’t smoke anywhere inside the hospital for the safety of other patients.  He agreed and the issue was put to bed.  We then went on to continue our conversation through the curtain.  He was a very interesting guy, we had a lot in common and I hope we stay in touch.

Tuesday, June 26th – Day 16

My surgeon was very pleased with my progress but yielded to me in terms of when I was ready to go home.  With all the ups and downs of my hospital visit, I told him I thought it was prudent to feed me three meals and watch me overnight.  If there was no funky activity, I should leave the hospital Wednesday morning.  He agreed.  The fact that my white blood cell count was now back to normal also aided my cause.

My IV line was again due to be changed but there was no way I was being stuck again so I had the nurse simply pull it out and every medication I had to take from then on was by mouth.  The hospital food was atrocious but thanks to my friends I had a few tuna and turkey sandwiches to try as tests for my fixed intestines and everything seemed fine. I also lost the Midwest Smoker roommate and picked up an elderly widowed man who had some laparoscopic procedure done and was leaving the next day.  Unlike with the Smoker, I didn’t have much in common with this gentleman but he made me sad as he had lost his wife only a few years ago and had no-one to care for him when he went home.  I hope that is never me.  This is why the topic of Roommates in the hospital is tricky.  In some, we see ourselves.  In others, we see people we hope we never become.  And then there are those we know may not be around too long and you hope your life never comes down to a life and death conversation separated only by a curtain in a hospital where roommates change as frequently as employees of Donald Trump.

Wednesday, June 27th – Day 17

Just as in a Hotel, the signs on the wall of a typical Patient Room in a Hospital clearly state that upon Discharge you must be out of the room by 10:00 AM.  That’s what it said at Mt. Sinai Hospital and crazy me; I took them at their word.  In that regard, my college roommate changed his busy daily business schedule to pick me up and drive me home to New Jersey despite having to be at what were now several inconvenient different places at specific times.  I told my nurse that I was on a tight schedule because if I missed this ride home I’d have to take a Cab and that could cost me Hundreds of Dollars.  My nurse was GREAT and tried to help me but that Pain Management Doctor held everything up and then when he came he forgot to prescribe a medication I’ve been taking for 3 years.  I had a few left at home but his office said he was in the hospital and my nurse simply had to page him.  Turns out he has no Pager Number so I went round and round with phone calls to and from the Pain Management Office while my diligent nurse tried to help me.  After a while of these futile attempts, I realized I could make do with the few pills at home so I decided to leave the hospital and simply call his office on Thursday to fix the error.  It was now 12:00 noon and my friend was getting nervous because he had an important business meeting in Westchester at 4:30 PM and I was possibly compromising it.  Even though I was up at 6:30 AM and emphasized during Doctor Morning Rounds how I needed to leave by 12:00 noon AT THE LATEST, there were still many Discharge Forms to complete and Drugs to pick up at a Pharmacy outside the hospital.

Having given up on my Pain Management Doctor, I thought I was home free with the Discharge Papers but my nurse informed me that the “Surgical Team” had not yet discharged me.  This was preposterous to me as the “Surgical Team” was all Interns and Residents and all they did was the grunt work of my surgeon who could not have been nicer or more understanding of my problem when he saw me during Morning Rounds.  Therefore, I had to wait until these “students” got to discharging patients even though the signs in the Patient Room clearly said 10:00 AM was check out time.  It was just another example of the “cluster-fuck” that is a Hospital and I politely asked my nurse to contact them and ask them to put a RUSH on my Discharge Papers because otherwise it was going to cost me a great deal of money and I’d been through enough already.  That verbiage must have made a difference because within 5 minutes my nurse had me sign the various Discharge Papers and she gave me my various Prescriptions to fill and sat patiently and went over all my limitations and whatnot.  I left the Hospital at 1:30 PM or so and my friend was as nice as could be even though I had screwed up his entire day.  It’s not fun having Crohn’s Disease but I am blessed having a few amazing friends who truly understand the foregoing chaos I go through each time I am hospitalized.

 © Copyright 2012 Michael A. Weiss

What to ask before your 1st Crohn’s Disease Surgery

The Power of Crohn’s Disease

As a 49 year-old battling Crohn’s Disease for almost 30 years, people always ask me two (2) things:  1. What is so unique about Crohn’s Disease which makes surgery such a last resort?  2. Why has it been necessary for you to be hospitalized over 200 times for treatment of Crohn’s Disease?  The answers to these two (2) questions set up a foundation of knowledge that every Crohn’s patient should acquire so they are properly equipped to most effectively interact with their surgeon during that 1st surgical consultation.  But before I share advice about what to ask your surgeon before your 1st Crohn’s Disease surgery, I think it is also important to understand the disease, its possible progression, its medications and its potential effects on your life.  That’s why I’ve chosen to write this “advice article” from a story-teller perspective.  After all, surgery is surgery but there’s nothing quite like Crohn’s Disease.

Experienced Crohn’s patients are not Doctors but for what we must go through with the disease, we might as well at least have some type of Honorary Medical Degree! To that end, Crohn’s Disease forces each of its patients to learn a great deal about his or her respective “type” and intensity of disease since Crohn’s can affect one person mildly yet another so severely that he or she can be disabled.  There is no medical explanation for this wide and diverse range of brutality. Moreover, these mild vs. severe flare-ups and overall Crohn’s classifications can inexplicably go away over time or they can exacerbate.  The auto-immune element of Crohn’s can also introduce other chronic diseases and conditions into the patient’s situation and these Crohn’s “related” medical problems can be more debilitating than the vice-like grip Crohn’s itself often has on the life of its patients.

When you also consider the life-threatening and life-style altering side effects of some Crohn’s Disease medications, the potential severity of the disease really comes into focus. Like many other Crohn’s patients, I have come to experience it as a disease which has a mind of its own whose main attributes are unpredictability and in-curability.  How can a person plan a life around such an often pervasive disease which causes debilitating and painful flare-ups the timing of which are unpredictable? Oh, and the underlying disease is incurable? There are many more dangerous and debilitating diseases than Crohn’s Disease but few feast on a patient’s physical, mental, psychological, emotional, financial, professional, social and familial well-being as much as Crohn’s Disease.

 A Correct Diagnosis of Crohn’s Disease

Assuming you are accurately diagnosed and manage to dodge the months or years of being misdiagnosed with people close to you thinking you are crazy for trying to associate together seemingly unrelated symptoms as if they are all a part of one horrific and existing disease (which they are, and the disease is called Crohn’s Disease), you’ve ultimately found “the” gastroenterologist who fits your needs, personality and lifestyle.  During the first few years, under normal circumstances you would have likely been under medical treatment for a variety of Crohn’s symptoms that occur when your body’s immune system is ill-equipped to fight off inflammation.  In fact, when posed with the task of fighting inflammation, your Crohn’s Disease somehow confuses your immune system and causes it to attack itself instead of the inflammatory intruder.  This sounds like fodder for an old Jerry Lewis Comedy but the practical medical effects of this bizarre immune system malfunction make Crohn’s Disease potent and pervasive.

Despite the possible serious manifestations of Crohn’s, your gastroenterologist will start you off with the most conservative medical treatment and then gradually move you up that scale as your condition warrants.  But as you know, your condition may forever stay at that very treatable level or it can get rather aggressive like mine and that’s when your doctor has to move to more “systemic” medications or eventually have you consult with a surgeon about surgical intervention.

Crohn’s Disease Recurs which tends to negate Surgery

In answering Question 1 above, it’s important to understand that Crohn’s Disease tends to “recur” in that, by way of example, having surgery to remove 4 inches of diseased small bowl intestine might solve your pressing medical problem but the mere act of surgical intervention could start the need for continued removals or surgical repair of additional small parts of small bowel intestine.  The problem with that is there is only approximately 23 feet of small bowel in the human body and your small bowel is a very important piece of human equipment. Personally, I had a small bowel resection surgery which fixed an extremely painful then-pressing Crohn’s flare-up only to have Crohn’s come back or “recur” and affect the same area of my bowel a mere two (2) months later.  After almost another two (2) months of aggressive medical treatment to try and avoid another bowel surgery, this Recurrence of Crohn’s Disease in my small intestine required another surgery to remove more of my small bowel only one hundred twenty (120) days from the date of the prior small bowel surgery. Additionally, and as referred to above, the 23 feet of small bowel serves several different important bodily functions such as digestion and absorption of nutrients so each time a portion of the small bowel is surgically removed or altered, the patient will have to make significant lifestyle adjustments to remain healthy and appear normal.  There is also the reality that every surgery creates scar tissue or adhesions and these natural byproducts of surgery can, by themselves, cause Full or Partial Bowel Obstructions necessitating even more surgery.  This additional surgery creates more scar tissue to the point where a viscous cycle forms such that the following credo was created: “more surgery begets more surgery.”  In summary, these recurrence issues are the reasons surgeons don’t like to perform surgery to fix or repair Crohn’s Disease damaged intestine.

Crohn’s Disease Medications

Prior to having to consult with a surgeon, the traditional Crohn’s Disease treatments and medications with which you might be familiar generally fall within the different levels or degrees of the disease and are as follows:

Anti-inflammation medications: (Asacol, Dipentum, and Pentasa);

Cortisone or Steroids: (Prednisone, Budesonide);

Immune system suppressors: (6-mercaptopurine [“6MP”], azathioprine, Methotrexate, and Imuran);

Biologics: (These are injectable “Anti-TNF” Agent medications such as Remicade, Humira and Cimzia which have been proven to be very effective pursuant to current Crohn’s research.  More specifically, the most current research indicates that the injection of these drugs binds them to “TNF” substances and that will block the body’s abnormal inflammation response. Some studies also suggest that the usage of biologics may enhance the effectiveness of immuno-suppressive medications. While I can attest to the almost dramatic positive effects of some biologics, I can also attest to the fact that the use of biologics in Crohn’s Disease can have VERY serious long term side effects many of which are only now first coming to the attention of medical practitioners.  It’s one thing to be aware of these terrible consequences due to the  small print [or fast spoken] legal disclaimers on the packaging inserts [or in TV/Radio commercials] of the biologics but it’s an entirely different reality when these patients taking biologics start showing up in emergency rooms around the world with life-threatening Lung Disorders and Fungal Infections.  Almost forget, these biologic drugs tend to also be very expensive.)

Antibiotics: Antibiotics are used for a variety of purposes in Crohn’s Disease because in some patients doctors believe there is a bacterial component somehow involved.  They are also used to treat bacterial overgrowth in the small intestine caused by stricture, fistulas, or surgery. Accordingly, your doctor may prescribe one or more of the following antibiotics: ampicillin, sulfonamide, cephalosporin, tetracycline, metronidazole [i.e., Flagyl]. (Personal Note:  For whatever reason, Flagyl has proven to be VERY effective for me during certain types of Crohn’s flare-ups.  In such instances, I typically take the antibiotic for 5-10 days and then get off of it.  I mention this because even the use of antibiotics in Crohn’s patients can have serious complications such as the prolonged use of Flagyl causing Pancreatitis. Again, I am NOT a Doctor but I have been in contact with many Crohn’s patients who have contracted Pancreatitis after significant use of Flagyl.  Amazingly, I have thus far avoided that nightmare.)

Anti-Diarrheal Medications & Pain Medications: These are drugs used routinely by Crohn’s patients for lifestyle purposes because no one wants to spend their days in pain or stuck in a bathroom.  Some patients even see specialty “Pain Management Physicians” to specifically treat their Crohn’s pain. Whatever the reason, you should always tell your gastroenterologist what medications you are taking because this information will help him or her in devising your overall medical treatment and it will also be an important piece of information your surgeon will want to know about.

Why so many Crohn’s Hospitalizations?

In answering Question 2 above, I tell people my doctors are always doing whatever is necessary to keep me off the operating table for the “disease recurrence” reasons described above.  The practical result in the 1980s and 1990s were increased hospitalizations although due to subsequent changes in healthcare and in the health insurance industry, I’m not so sure I would have been hospitalized as often or for as many days each time I was hospitalized if I got as many of the same type of Crohn’s flare-ups now in 2012.  In any event, since there are a variety of effective Crohn’s Disease medications, many of which I outlined above, I was thus often hospitalized to take these medications intravenously or in combinations/strengths which are not available outside the hospital.  In that regard, my gastroenterologist preferred seeing me in the hospital, sometimes for 20 days, if necessary, in an attempt to get me through a flare-up with the administration of medications rather than through surgical intervention and the likelihood of losing more of my intestines.  I’m not so sure health insurance companies would now agree with this safe and conservative approach since they like to “turn over” hospital beds like waiters turning over tables in a trendy restaurant to maximize their tip income.  In any event, doctors still follow the same conservative medication principles but more of the patient “response time” is done at the patient’s home due to the increased cost of being hospitalized. This harsh reality of a Crohn’s Disease flare-up adds to the feelings of loneliness and isolation which many Crohn’s patients unfortunately experience.

Finding the RIGHT Crohn’s Surgeon FOR YOU

I have gone through this short summary of Crohn’s Disease treatments and medications because I think a 1st time surgical Crohn’s patient should be familiar with the possible roads not taken and with all that is involved in leading up to Crohn’s surgery.  The 1st time surgical patient should also know that when they consult with a surgeon and their gastroenterologist thinks they need surgery, they are likely going to receive a recommendation of surgery since that is what surgeons do!  Of course, there are numerous exceptions to this but my point is that you want to make sure you’ve exhausted all possible medical treatments such that the only appropriate answer to your Crohn’s problem IS surgery.  If you’ve arrived at that point, then your only responsibility is to pick the surgeon who is right FOR YOU.  This means consideration of skill level, personality, understanding of your lifestyle and of the quality of life you are seeking by having the surgery.  You also need to go through a battery of diagnostic tests prior to the surgical consultation and your gastroenterologist will naturally order these tests in trying to help diagnose you.  It has been my experience that surgeons like to look at the actual Films from a CT Enterography and a GI Series.  Depending upon your medical/financial and health insurance situations, you may have to undergo additional testing.  Regardless, try to always obtain the original Films from each test so that the surgeon you ultimately choose can use them to successfully operate on you.

The Crohn’s Disease Surgeon – What to Expect

It’s difficult to recommend questions to ask a surgeon in a Crohn’s Disease case because with few exceptions every surgeon I’ve ever encountered has been SO confident and thorough that they leave little room for elaboration.  Sometimes, however,  this “confidence” can be construed as arrogance but I’ve also come to learn that with supreme surgical skills in Crohn’s cases comes a certain “self-assuredness” which can be off-putting if not expected.  For example, these surgeons bring up money and the cost of the surgery earlier in the doctor-patient consultation than in any other medical situation I’ve ever encountered.  Again, there’s nothing wrong with making sure you will be paid promptly for providing your services but such “directness” during a medical consultation may be a turnoff to you.  If that is the case, please at least take away from the encounter that Crohn’s surgery is SERIOUS BUSINESS.  The surgeon is being asked to basically take apart your insides and then put them back together sans the Crohn’s problems.  If, even with that understanding, you don’t feel comfortable with that particular surgeon, look elsewhere but don’t forget you will encounter some aspect of this self-assuredness in almost every surgical consultation.

The Crohn’s Disease Surgeon – What to Ask

Prior to actually meeting the surgeon for the 1st time, you should write out your questions so that you are organized and respectful of his or her time.  You should also have a written list of all the medications you are taking. Every surgeon will appreciate you doing this.  However, LISTEN to them first and even take notes before you ask your pointed questions as they are accustomed to the nervousness and anxiety of 1st time patients and thus they are usually overly  comprehensive in their initial explanation of the surgery.  Besides the obvious questions related to the surgery such as the possibility of doing your procedure via laparoscopic surgery (i.e., instead of cutting your entire torso open), the estimated recovery time and the amount of pain involved, you should inquire about post-operative care and about the subsequent limitations in your work and physical activities and when you can start instituting your dietary preferences. Ask about the most likely problems which will be encountered with your particular surgery and what the ramifications would be to you if such problems occurred.  Getting back to the pain issue, I would ask about the availability of a Pain Management Team at the Hospital if you are overly sensitive to post-operative pain because Crohn’s surgery can be among the most painful surgeries performed. (For example, a day or two after my 1st Crohn’s surgery, a kind nurse gave me a pillow on which she had written what I thought were “girly” drawings and she told me it was my “Cough Pillow.”  I thanked her for her thoughtfulness but put the Cough Pillow as far away from me as possible in case one of my macho buddies stopped by to see me and found me cuddled up asleep with this girly pillow.  Well, after the first inclination to cough hit me and I tried to cough but nearly passed out from the pain, that Cough Pillow and its girly drawings NEVER left my side and I didn’t care who saw me use it!)

Always keep in mind that this very confident surgeon may have to attend to you when you’ve had an unsuccessful surgery and he or she will need to “problem-solve” to get you better.  Confidence is great but empathy and adaptability are also important.  Be realistic with what you expect from the surgery and make sure you are both “on the same page” with your expectations and the surgeon’s capabilities/intentions.  Understand the various costs involved with the surgery such as the Surgeon, Anesthesia, Hospital, Laboratory, etc.  The Surgeon will not be able to break down the other costs but the office staff will probably know from whom you will be receiving medical bills. Lastly, if this is the surgeon you choose but the price is too high, ask if there is a payment plan available.  It may feel strange negotiating over life or life-style saving surgery but you must and that’s why I think it is also always best to bring along someone (e.g., your mother, brother, sister, best friend, etc.,) who will respectfully act as your Patient Advocate of sorts because you will certainly need one when you are incapacitated from the surgery.  More to the point, it is always easier having a “buffer” to ask about or respectfully demand those difficult items or issues which you don’t want to get into a heated conversation about with the surgeon who will be presiding over you at your most vulnerable condition.  Besides offering you moral support, that Patient Advocate can more easily objectify the “transaction” just as the “self-assured” surgeon can since he or she has presumably done this hundreds or thousands of times before.

Now, you are ready for surgery.  Good luck.

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Impersonalized Medicine for Chronic Illness Patients

(This Blog Entry is excerpted from a Chapter in the upcoming eBook, “Chronic Illness: Truths, Tales & Tips” written by Michael A. Weiss)

 Interacting with my Pain Management Doctor

I was moved to write this Blog Entry because of a phone conversation I recently had with my Pain Management Doctor during which I told him I was exceeding my monthly dose of narcotic pain medication and I needed more medication prior to our upcoming appointment in two (2) weeks.  Patients who routinely see Pain Management Doctors can attest to the tremendous anxiety which builds up while making this phone call especially after you’ve committed to taking less narcotics and getting off them completely during recent appointments. That anxiety rises to the level of making you feel like a complete schmuck when you’ve documented this pledge of narcotic abstinence in a Video you posted on the Web which has been viewed by many similar situated patients around the world!  But, as I’ve learned with my case of a chronic illness, you can’t predict the future and lately mine has been a shit storm of one painful major medical catastrophe after another such that I’ve had to postpone my genuine pledge to reduce my monthly intake of narcotic pain medications.

My doctor is very compassionate toward my plight and he doesn’t doubt my veracity regarding these recurring medical tsunamis because I always fax him details of each situation (i.e. specialty doctor names, diagnostic test results, etc.) which could impact the management of my pain.  But during this phone call and within the context of looking out for my best interests, he unintentionally scared me a bit when he explained how repeated patient “violations” of regular monthly amounts of narcotics (i.e., repeatedly calling and asking for more than were prescribed for a given month) will eventually raise red flags with health insurers and soon these bureaucrats might go over his head and make me “defend” my medication requirements. I remarked that the logic in this potential bureaucratic practice of medicine seems to run contrary to the sacrosanct nature of the Doctor-Patient relationship because any red flags should be first noticed by my doctor and thus he or she would speak to me about them and I would have to change my behavior accordingly.  But since my poor genetic makeup, bad luck and auto-immune chronic illness have been causing one painful nightmarish medical problem after another, shouldn’t the documentation approved by my health insurer of the NUMEROUS specialty doctor visits and diagnostic test results make my absolutely necessary pain medication request beyond scrutiny by this same health insurer?

My doctor assured me that he understood my frustration but this is where he believes the practice of pain management is headed and I need to be mindful of it.  His point was duly noted, we agreed to discuss this matter further during my next appointment and he prescribed a specific amount of medication to adequately treat my pain until our next appointment.  After I thanked him and hung up, I thought of the following question which I should have asked him but I sensed he was busy and needed to accommodate my request and then move on to another of his daily responsibilities:  “When I saw you on March 1st and your prescribed a certain amount of monthly medication for a painful Crohn’s Disease flare-up I was having, how was I to know that this flare-up would escalate so substantially by March 12th that I had to take more pain medication per day AND around the same time I began experiencing such severe pain in both breasts and nipples from some unrelated but serious medical problem that taking a shower made my chest feel like a broken-down dart-board and this sometimes added further to my pain and required even more daily pain medication?”

Documenting Complex Medical Problems for Doctors & Insurers

I thought I had “protected” myself from the aforementioned understandable scrutiny when after seeing my NYC gastroenterologist and going for the variety of diagnostic tests he ordered, I faxed every result to my Pain Management Doctor.  Moreover, when one of those diagnostic tests revealed that the “dart-board pain” was likely the result of my body having NO testosterone, I faxed that to him as well.  At this same time, at the bequest of my NYC gastroenterologist I rushed to see an Endocrinologist for the testosterone problem and he sent me for even more tests because my blood levels revealed a startling lack of testosterone. This new “in-network” Endocrinologist was so concerned with my “dart-board” pain that he also prescribed a hormonal drug to help offset that pain.  He also indicated I had to go for additional diagnostic tests to check my Pituitary Gland as a possible source of the problem.  However, within 2 or 3 days of taking this new drug to fix the “dart-board,” my body reacted violently and my already painful Crohn’s Disease flare-up got even worse that being hospitalized was a distinct possibility because I could barely control the pain. As a result, I had to discontinue the medication and I also faxed all of this information to my Pain Management Doctor.

While I am still battling the testosterone problem, my NYC gastroenterologist believes it is due to the massive amounts of Prednisone I had to take last summer to treat a life-threatening lung condition (i.e., “B.O.O.P.”) I contracted from certain Crohn’s Disease medications I had taken for a few years.  However, the four (4) months of taking 60 MGs of Prednisone each day did not ease my B.O.O.P. breathing problems and I had to then endure a four (4) month course of Chemotherapy but I knew all along of the potential short- and long-term problems associated with taking such potent drugs.  Thankfully, my breathing is better due to the Chemo but it has made my Crohn’s Disease much worse, albeit hopefully temporarily, and now I have a painful testosterone problem likely from the Prednisone as a consolation prize for the Prednisone not working on the B.O.O.P!.  Call me crazy, but I couldn’t possibly predict these problems and given that I have substantiated each and every aspect of what I am going through to try and alleviate the pain so that I can finally move forward, I don’t like having to defend or explain why I need more pain medication when there are many days I can’t get out of bed because I am in agony.  I know my Pain Management Doctor will understand once I have the opportunity to remind him of all I am going through but I get worried that health insurers are getting too hands-on and that a cursory review of my primary Crohn’s Disease case will not accurately reflect the pain I must live with on a day-to-day basis.  Given the possibility that the lingering effects of both the aforementioned Chemotherapy and Prednisone may never abate, I am also worried that these complications will never be given their due deference in evaluating the severity of my medical problems.

Living with the Chronic Illness, Crohn’s Disease

In my almost 30 years living with Crohn’s Disease, I have learned that the pain it causes varies depending upon the type of Crohn’s flare-up AND the genetic makeup of each patient.  I am not qualified to comment about genetics other than to say I wound up with “used car”-like genes but from LOVING PARENTS. In that regard and based on how difficult my life has been because of my Crohn’s Disease, I would never have my own child for fear of passing along this often horrific illness.  That’s the bad part about my “inheritance” but the good is that my parents also passed along some great genes which have made me compassionate, tough and resilient so that I can help others who must live with this often pervasive and devastating disease.  They’ve also given me a sense of humor and a whole lot of love. I could not survive without either.

Playing the Health Insurance Game & Working Your Policy

My resiliency and coping abilities notwithstanding, I am beginning to worry about how my increasingly painful and unpredictable Crohn’s Disease flare-ups will be treated by an impersonal healthcare system in which even longstanding doctor-patient relationships are being terminated due to patients being pushed toward unfamiliar in-network doctors who accept lower reimbursement fees from health insurers in exchange for an increase in their volume of patients. Ergo, what was once a relationship-based service industry is now strictly a bottom-line business.  Unless a patient is wealthy, due to financial constraints and the alluring option of seeing their inexpensive in-network doctors, patients can no longer afford to see their familiar physicians who know them best.  This sense of unfamiliarity has a disproportionate negative effect on people who suffer from chronic illnesses and who thus come to rely upon their physicians to maintain some semblance of a quality of life.  In any event, by the time the new in-network doctor is brought up-to-speed, the patient’s employer has likely changed insurance companies to save money and the patient has to choose a new in-network doctor all over again.

I’ve tried to “work my insurance plan” in this in-network manner but my case of Crohn’s Disease is so complex (and now even more so because of the Chemotherapy and Prednisone problems) that I always wind up back with my New York City gastroenterologist who either identifies the problem and/or finds an answer because he sees more Crohn’s patients than most other doctors, he’s a very experienced gastroenterologist and he is also very smart (as not all doctors are smart just like not all lawyers are smart).  That said, my unique case of Crohn’s Disease has cost me so much money over the years because each time I’ve tried to use an in-network gastroenterologist I’ve had a bad or nightmarish result because he or she lacked the expertise, experience or smarts to handle my situation.  More specifically, I went from having MY SPECIFIC CASE OF Crohn’s Disease treated by the NYC doctor to having A CASE OF Crohn’s Disease treated by a local gastroenterologist who could recognize it on an x-ray and could spell it correctly but beyond that, the proscribed treatment never took into consideration my almost 30-year case of Crohn’s which has necessitated over 200 hospitalizations and approximately 20 surgeries.

Another threat to a patient’s choice of physician can occur when the patient’s disease or situation requires such “personalized” care that it raises red flags with health insurers because such treatment is either not within their normal or typical boundaries of care or the treatment required to care for that specific patient is more expensive than the care required for the typical patient suffering from the same ailment (said standards are as determined by the health insurance company). Moreover, that medical treatment solution could be implemented by bureaucrats from the health insurer which will only serve to placate the patient and will not at all address his or her lifestyle, quality of life and it will probably keep that patient in an unfair amount of pain.

Understanding the Severity of Crohn’s Disease

My fear about chronic illness patients receiving impersonal healthcare is because I get the feeling that some doctors, and all health insurers, don’t understand the severity of my Crohn’s Disease and likely the severity of many other chronic illness cases.  This makes me worry about my future because my disease can get even worse.  What am I to do then?  How will it be possible to still get such quality specialized care when I am financially tapped out?  Naturally, these are rhetorical questions but they represent issues which are not unique to me so I find it therapeutic and simultaneously helpful to others to identify them for contemplation by writing Blog Posts like this one.

Bowel Obstruction Pain

Thanks to late night television commercials and general stigmas, many people think Crohn’s Disease is all about diarrhea, bowel control (or lack thereof) and mal-absorption issues. What comes across in those ominous television commercials is fear about losing control and possibly having to defecate in the middle of a business meeting or on romantic date and there is not much mention or imagery of the disabling severe pain caused by the disease.  In my experience, not only is the pain severe but it is also unpredictable and that adds another element to trying to manage it. It is unpredictable in terms of its timing, duration and intensity.  Typical Crohn’s severe pain involves inflammation at any point of the digestive track but predominantly in the intestines.  This swelling of the intestinal walls reduces the diameter of the “pathway” for food and gas to get through the body until eventually the narrowing of the pathway becomes completely occluded and a Bowel Obstruction occurs.  The cramping pain of food and gas trying to nevertheless pass through this intestinal roadblock is VERY painful.  It’s no help that the body’s natural process of peristalsis to move everything down (and out!) the pathway also kicks in and it adds pressure and intensity to that pain.

Experienced doctors and patients have described Bowel Obstruction pain to be similar to that caused by Child-Bearing Labor pain.  If you are lucky, the inflammation of the intestines subsides and you can avoid surgery.  But that can take days or weeks of lying in a hospital on steroids.  It can also become life-threatening if the food and gas threatens to perforate or break through the intestine because then it’s time for emergency surgery. Note:  Since Crohn’s is an autoimmune disease, it can cause or enhance painful inflammation in other parts of the body.  For example, I have had sores on the cornea in my eyes that have hurt as much as Bowel Obstructions. It is a different kind of pain but brutal nonetheless.

Auto-Immune Gas Pain of Crohn’s Disease

In addition to the above typical Crohn’s Disease Obstructional pain-inducing scenarios, I have learned over the years by keeping a daily food/pain diary that Seasonal Allergies (and certain foods) always trigger unique Crohn’s “inflammatory” flare-ups because of the auto-immune component of the disease.   Doctors have never been able to explain this phenomenon to me but if you witnessed it you’d understand why these types of flare-ups are more disabling than any others. I have also noticed that since undergoing Chemotherapy for treatment of the lung condition B.O.O.P., my intestines are much more sensitive and therefore these types of flare-ups are more volatile, frequent and intense.  To that point, it has been surmised by several medical experts that when my body is exposed to any type of allergy it responds by attacking itself due to my auto-immune illness.  The fight my body puts up is with itself and not with the outside agents causing the energy-draining effects of allergies.  It’s as if I have tiny “immune system soldiers” inside me attempting to ward off illness but instead they act more like soldiers from the movie, “The March of the Wooden Soldiers.”  When I need these soldiers the most, they robotically march directly into a brick wall exactly like the Marching Band members in the final scene of the movie, “Animal House.”  Seriously, the “Animal House” movie scene in which the Marching Band members march straight into a concrete wall and continue to bump into one other and cause chaos in the process is how I envision Crohn’s Disease affecting the operative parts of my immune system which should be limber, dynamic, strong and at least pointed in the right direction!

While I may envision allergies attacking my immune system in a rather humorous manner, in reality it is these effects of the auto-immune component of my Crohn’s Disease (and probably also due to having had many surgeries which have left behind scar tissue and a uniquely shaped intestinal tract) which make me cry from bearing down on the pain and feeling so ostracized by the situation.  I caution readers who do not have experience with Crohn’s or other serious illnesses to have an open mind when they read my vivid description of this specific pain and discomfort as even only a few family members have witnessed it due to its completely debilitating, embarrassing and excruciatingly painful manifestation. To start, let’s just say those wooden soldiers inside of me get confused when I’m exposed to allergies and instead of banding together and building up my immune system they do everything but and for some reason related to my Crohn’s Disease the result is an inordinate amount of painful gas quickly building up inside my abdomen.

As this gas builds up inside of me, it stagnates and causes my intestines to become so Grossly Distended that I look like I’m pregnant.  Doctors have never adequately explained this to me but the gas either builds up in other parts of my body or overflows into them from my intestines and I start to look like “The Michelin Man.”  The production of exponentially increasing amounts of gas stretches parts of my insides and causes excruciating pain.  It also comes on suddenly and with seemingly different warning signs each time so I never have been able to anticipate it. During this initial phase I cannot expel gas no matter how hard I try even though that would greatly alleviate the pain.  With each body movement I generate more gas or the gas inside me moves and creates a “gas pocket of pain.” A bed is the only place for me and I often must be physically assisted to get to that bed.  I then pray I fall asleep and dream about watching the air coming out of the “Macy’s Day Parade” Floats.

I Love Lucy” & the Fury of Gas Pain

These gas pains move fast and furiously inside my body but for 1-3 days I can’t expel the gas no matter how hard I try.  I also become so tired from the combined effects of the allergies and my immune system attacking itself that sleep is all I can do but the painful rumblings inside me make it difficult to fall asleep.  It’s like a form of Broccoli torture where your enemy lets you gorge on the gaseous vegetable but they don’t let you fart for 3 days.  But around Day 3 of this Crohn’s Disease seasonal allergy torture I begin to expel the gas but my body seems to manufacture it faster than I can expel it.  The best way I can describe this seemingly perpetual “gas imbalance” is by suggesting you think of the “I Love Lucy” classic television show with Lucy and Ethel in the “Candy Factory” episode and then imagine those lame immune system wooden soldiers inside me saying to the gas producers: “Speed it up.”

Long story short, each time I expel the gas and release some of the pressure, my rear end hurts in ways I find hard to explain other than it feels like the exhaust from jet propelled engines are being thrust out of my backside.  I want to expel the gas to alleviate the gas pains but I dread the fallout pain in my rear end.  This sounds funny but it happens to me several times a year and without warning.  Around Day 4 expelling the gas becomes easier so the pain above my waist gets better but the gas is still so pressurized coming out of me that my butt hurts as if razor blades were coming out of it.  Every time this type of Crohn’s episode happens I feel like a Leper because I don’t know anyone else who experiences it and I can’t be around anyone while I am going through it.   I feel as if I am not in control of what is going on inside my body and it scares me.  I don’t know why it started and I don’t know when it will end.  Taking narcotic painkillers takes a little edge off the pain but soon every 4 hours turns into every 2 ½  hours and 1 pill becomes 2.   Crohn’s Disease seems to be different for each patient but when I can’t get some doctors to understand the aforementioned gas pain flare-ups how will I ever be able to convince skeptical, bottom-line oriented health insurers of its severity?

Without a Witness, No One would Understand my Pain

If my Mom hadn’t witnessed all of the above, no-one would believe it.  I guess there is a reason why I had to move back home when I began to get so sick a few years ago.  I suspect many people with chronic illnesses go through the same types of complex problems which require treatment that is in excess of the norm or different than the norm but personalized medicine for the chronically ill is going to become less available due to health insurers invoking actuary-like limits to the medical treatment of human beings with real and painful medical problems.  I worry about such a healthcare system in which the treatment of abnormal medical problems could raise a red flag which takes away the doctor’s power to treat the patient he or she knows best and instead places the treatment responsibility in the hands of insurance bureaucrats who intend to ignore complex personal patient histories and decide what is best for that patient based on statistics of normal cases and, of course, on their bottom line.  Healthy people may not feel the effects of this yet but those with chronic illnesses know far too well how it feels to be treated like a number.  Our bottom-line:  It’s hard to live with a chronic illness these days.

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Chronic Disease – a Teenager’s WISE Perspective

This Video features an email I received from a then-19-year old, Jennifer Wheeler, now a talented artist in college who was battling various social aspects of living with Chronic Illness and Crohn’s Disease.  Yes, you can be THAT BEAUTIFUL and have Crohn’s Disease.  When her Date asked, “Is Crohn’s Disease contagious?” she knew there was something not being communicating to people about the etiquette of inquiring about chronic disease.  After listening to her being upset, I thought her insights and perspective were wise, prophetic and truly indicative of what people go through who must battle chronic illnesses of all kinds.  So I asked her to write down these thoughts and send them to me in an email as I thought this would be a therapeutic exercise and it would help her get through the experience.  However, when I received her email I was impressed with her overall Perspective and how she was able to communicate various issues about Chronic Illness that often go unaddressed.  To that end, I told her that I wanted to share it with others because it contained many nuggets of helpful information which I thought they (and many others) could use in coping with their respective chronic illnesses.  As a testament to Jen’s strength, courage and genuine interest in helping others, she didn’t hesitate for a second and gave me the permission I needed and the result is this very powerful Video.

(Please note:  I will be slowing down a bit with my typical production schedule of One (1) Video per week partially due to my continuing health issues and also because I have started to pen what I hope to be the most helpful Resource about “Managing Chronic Illness” tentatively called “Chronic Illness:  Truths, Tales and Tips.”  Depending on my Health, I hope to finish it in a few months and have it out as an eBook and hopefully also as an Audio Book by mid- to late- summer.)

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Crohn’s Disease: Raising Public Awareness & the IBD Umbrella

Crohn’s Disease is essentially defined as an incurable, autoimmune, inflammatory bowel disease or “IBD.” However, it is presently most effectively explained AS IBD instead of as “Crohn’s Disease” or as its own illness with its own very specific symptoms. I think Global Positive Social Awareness of Crohn’s Disease would be significantly expanded and enhanced if its “Awareness Campaigns” gave Crohn’s Disease its own identity thus forcing it out from under this “umbrella” of IBD.  Perhaps then people around the world would understand the often horrific nature of Crohn’s Disease as well as the pervasive and multifaceted effects it has on patients. These multifaceted effects include, but are not limited to,  medical, psychological, emotional, financial, professional, social and familial.  In that regard, I think following the lead of Breast Cancer Awareness Campaigns and also focusing on the everyday heroes who battle and successfully manage Crohn’s Disease might then lead to a more Fundraising-Friendly Global Identity.